Post by rko on Jun 4, 2010 0:21:38 GMT -5
Warning: This role play contains some sexually explicit material.
"Envious minds join together and they look at me, shoot me the eyes that radiate off the hate of a thousand men, filled with envy that could overflow within the snap of a finger. Look at me and see what you want and wish to be, yet you cannot be me. The pain that eats deep within you, not only am I striving to become a WWE Champion, which in the end, I shall succeed, but I'm also leading you people to lead a life of want. The greed that you find yourself captivated under, is overwhelming sometimes isn't it? I sit here in the lap of luxury while you sit and sulk in the life of poverty and oppression, I feel no remorse towards you, for you have no perseverance. Which is why, I shall have no remorse when time of judgment, finds itself bestowed upon Triple H, CM Punk, Judas and for them they are nothing but a simple obstacle just waiting to get toppled over, and the mere fact or opinion, in which I find them to be clearly over there heads, when they think that in the matter of beating me or losing, they choose to ascend the ladder, and state that they believe that within a regular match, or any match for that matter... they could beat me."
"They dread to think of the day where my arm is raised, and I ascend the throne, where I become there upper power, as if I already am not. They have this deranged thought that has him distraught and delusional, to the point where they actually believe to some extent that we are on the same playing field, what kind of drug have they been popping? Those deviant people who are out of their minds, gone loony, will return later on. Throughout everything though, they does not cease to amaze me, it must be there goal, it must be there mission to go out there, and go out of there way and amaze me, with there stupidity. There an imbecile that should have been left back in the womb, the world can do without a Triple H, CM Punk, and Judas. Sorry if I sound a bit mean in this particular moment in time, but my name is Randy Orton... whoever said that I was nice clearly made a mistake. So if you expected different from me, where I'm to coat you with sugar coated gum drops, then you're sadly mistaken. Go to Candice Michelle, she'll give you something."
"Which eventually veers me over to the subject of Candice Michelle where I think these continual non-stop thoughts of her delusional state of mind, it's not a rare case for the two who are indeed a couple that needs counseling to have the same sorts of problems. It really is a shame, to see a woman who I held in high regards to fall and descend herself down the ladder to such depths, in the bowels of the industry with trash. I laugh at the name and spit on there legacy, if they have enough courage to step up to the plate, then I guess I should honor them for bravery and sheer stupidity. I do not honor those who have fallen due to nothing but stupid decisions in which they know that they are diving in dangerous waters, I'm the shark and there some innocent bystander on there surf boards, defenseless, and just harmless to me and my surroundings, there bound to go down with a thud, and after I take down there fallen carcasses, I shall stand over them, breathing heavily, not due to the match because it was so quick, but due to the voyage that took place for me to get in the ring, I find it that I exerted more energy to get to the match, than I had done within the official match. Triple H, CM Punk, and Judas you guys are nothing to me, you might as well not even show up. There is no use, because there is no chance for you guys, and if you thought for a split second that you guys had even an ounce of a chance, then allow me to slap you in your faces with the authority of a St. Louis Ram. I cannot even fathom your guys thought process, and believe me, I've thought about what could make you guys think that you have a shot at beating me, and oh guys don't get down, you're not left alone in the bunch. "
"For you guyd, I look at you, and I see a men who had all of the potential in the world - had all of it, and then wasted it on some useless things that they didn't need. Pandering to the crowd, saying what they want to hear, it's all a wasted effort, because a boo or a cheer really doesn't change the outcome of the match, the fact that I get cheered, just simply makes me that much more vicious and violent to the fact that I'm liked. It's not anything new to me, I've been cheered since I could remember, just for being Cowboy Bob Orton's son, I was cheered. I find it to be funny that I've been in the spotlight since I could remember, being the son of a legend, yet here comes Judas, demanding for some shred of light to be shone down on him, does it make him feel any better, does it make him feel more accomplished? The simple fact that I am only human, but at the same time withhold super human strengths like the power to persevere... me having those powers does not give me the power to warp into the idiotic minds of people like Triple H, CM Punk, and Judas. They think that they have a chance on god's green earth to beat me, let alone myself."
"Although Triple H seems to have had this seemingly, change of heart where he wants to be the good guy, I don't know what type of good that is going to get him, but he seems to have turned his back, and bit the hands that have fed him, in a sense... I've helped mold Triple H into the man that he is today, he wouldn't be who he is, if it weren't for me and a couple of other people who helped Triple H get to where he is right now, and it makes me sick to my stomach that he turns his back on the men that helped him throughout his whole career pretty much. Shall I laugh at his stupidity and acts of imbecility or should I be infuriated at him because he's so stupid, and because I thought that I could trust him? I thought that I had something in Triple H that I could trust, I guess that he's just as dishonest and disloyal on the inside as he appears to look on his exterior image. I just wonder how this match is going to pan out throughout the night, most people are probably predicting that Triple H will win the match, simply because he's a lot more experienced than the rest of us, wait no... I think CM Punk is older than I am. Why do they still call him that young blue chipper then? They just leave me be as the man with the chip on his shoulder with a seemingly score to settle."
"Should I be happy that I'm younger than CM Punk? Does age make someone better than another? Does it in some way or another, give someone the upper hand? Sure, one looks at someone's age and they say... look at CM Punk and they automatically think that he may have more experience than me, well guess what? If there's anyone that has more experience in this field, then come to me, and let me know. I'm a third generation superstar, most branches don't go back that far, and so if you want to talk about a wrestling family, then talk about the Orton's. Or talk about the legendary Hart family. But, when you think Legend in the making, you better think of me. Exclude the posers and the wannabes like Judas. Where is he going to get in this industry? In this company? I'll tell you exactly where he's going to get, and that's nowhere but with his face planted in the mat, delivered to him courtesy of myself, via an RKO. Now, Judas can think what he wants to think, he can think that he has a shot, if you can even call it that, he can think that he's going to in somehow, some way, in some shape or form create a miracle from his ass. Shall it come to a pass? I'm a prophet, I know what's going to happen, and this is not part of the prophecy, the prophecy is that I will become champion on Raw, and so it shall come to a pass when the time comes, and when that time comes then what? Will all people worship me? I doubt it, I've been at the top before, ascended above all else, and they look up at me, and they gun for my title. It's a shame that sometimes, if not most of the time, there is this gullible new superstar that feels he can take me on, whether or not I'm champion."
"The price you pay of being a champion, or the price you pay of being in the public eye, I guess? Labeled as one of the most controversial superstars, I've always got the press and the fans' eyes on me, looking for me to screw something up, or mess something up; not in a bad way, but in other words, looking for me to be mischievous and cook something up within my sleeve. I laugh at these people, because they keep their eyes glued to me, in anticipation, they wonder what's wrong with the reluctance, I don't strike when the people are looking at me, what kind of stealth is that? These men they try to be stealthy and in some way take me down, sometimes they're as upfront as Shelton is being right now, the man is clearly not as sophisticated or in other words smart as he leads himself into being. I expect an Albert Einstein, he talks so highly of himself, as if he himself has won an Olympic gold medal also. I have minimal respect for CM Punk, the only man that I had some single strand of respect for was Triple H, and now that strand has in some way blown away with the wind, once he decided to double cross me, and move over to a side, that should be shunned upon. I cannot believe a man that I let into my own home, has turned his back on me, and stabbed me in the back. I feel betrayed. I know the feeling all too well, it seems lately."
"Betrayal seems to be the theme of my life these days, as if god has planned it out for me to be a witness, a victim of betrayal at this day and age, I hate the feeling of betrayal, I block out my emotions with a dam that seems to not even be there, it's invisible. They don't even notice for a second that I'm trying to block out my emotions, but don't think that for a second that what Triple H has done has really stung me deeply. His little betrayal case towards me, is nothing more than a paper cut, the cut that has really gotten to me deeply, is one made with the knife from the ex-wife. It still stings when I touch it, the wound is rather.... fresh."
June 3rd, 2010
2:09pm
Samantha and myself are sort of going through this rough patch, it's hard for her to stomach seeing me in the arms of another woman, the man that she used to hold near and dear to her, had now been running off with another woman, the jealousy that courses throughout her veins is becoming boiling hot to the point where she can barely stand still, without having to fan herself down. Irrevocably, she will soon come to the realization that she shouldn't have left me. Subsequently, nearly inevitably, I was going to run off with another woman, the only thing that kept me from doing so was Samantha, what is to hold me back now? I have no ties with her anymore, besides the result of our marriage, Alanna, the only tie that is left with her, it cannot be broken, and it cannot be untied. Turn back the hands of time, is something that we cannot do, but within this particular moment, in this little predicament of sorts, I bet that Samantha wishes that she could take back everything that has been said and has been done. The words; "I do." Lodged back in her throat, it may be a bit radical to say something of the sort, as it pertains to a matter like this, especially when Alanna was to come of the marriage, but to be frank.. Samantha, she probably wouldn't give a shit.
The matter of her being free, without child, probably sounds really good to her about now. I cannot lie, if Alanna weren't here, then I probably would be done with Samantha entirely and I would have been ran away with Lacey and just never spoke to Samantha again. But, she's the mother of my child, what am I to do? I cannot sit back and just not have any time with the mother of my child, what type of father would they brand me? What type of man would they make me out to be? Other than the man that they see on television. They'd probably call me heartless, a bastard. I've been called everything in the book, and labeled as things that I wish not to repeat in this day and age, but to be labeled as a man who potentially ran out on his only daughter, is a man that I wish not to be, and therefore - I will not be that man and fall statistic to the long line of guys that eventually run out on their wives, their girlfriends. It's not of my nature to do that, when I start something I follow through with it, anyone who knows me, knows that the statement holds up all of the truth in the world. Samantha knows me, which is why in this particular moment, she knows that I will come to her alone, she knows that I will at least attempt to hold up some civilized conversation, because of Alanna.
Our last meeting had not gone so well, with me near the brink of snapping on her, leads her to question me, and give her even more reason to believe that I have changed, but I do agree with her. I have changed, maybe for the better, maybe for the worst? I do not judge myself, as it pertains to my behavior or my attitude, all I do know is that this is me. I am Randy Orton, I will not change for no man, no woman or no child. Maybe for Alanna but mainly because she is mine, and mine alone. Excluding Samantha for the time being. Samantha likes to claim that I have changed, and pin the whole spiel upon my shoulders, giving me the burden that is quite hard to carry, that is one of her favorite things to do, to loosen up things on her, is throw something on someone else' shoulders and make them feel like complete crap. I can stand here and tell you right now, that when Samantha told me that I changed and that I wasn't there for Alanna when she needed me, I was on the verge of breaking down. Ever seen me break down? It takes a lot for it to happen, much more than any man or woman on the roster can get me to. They cannot, or do not mean enough to me, to get to me, to get into the mantle of my brain, the inner-core. Lacey isn't even at that point yet, and even though me and Samantha are going through our little rough patch, I can honestly tell you that I still care about Samantha as much as I did when we first started dating.
I'll try to deny it as much as I'd like to, but in the end the truth holds up that I'm still her baby's father, and I'm still her husband. Does this mean that I'm an adulterer, because we're still joined together by law? We're living under the same roof, does this make me a man who has committed a sin? Well, if it is... I've got news for pretty much everyone, there is no sin that I have no broken in my lifetime. And I pretty much assure you that I will not stop right now, not even close to stopping right now. There is much more sinning to go around for me, I'll bring it all into the light and bring everyone else down with me, send me to hell. I've been living the life of the devil my whole life with devious actions, nothing less than satanic and sadistic throughout my whole life. Being branded as a sinner can only make me human because there is no such thing as a saint, and it seems as if, Samantha was seeing these apparitions, that are flung towards us by the movie industry. She believes in the perfect relationship. No such thing as that..
Here I stand, in the driveway, after just being dropped off by a cab, the plane ride was something, it seemed as if it had taken forever to get here, but in reality it took literally no more than three hours to get here in St. Louis. I looked at my home, the one that I bought, the one that Samantha was still living in currently, I had hoped that she didn't bring Alanna, I would hate for something to take a wrong turn, like me yelling at Samantha and having Alanna have to witness that, I don't yell at Samantha, but lately it has become a frequent action of mine to yell at Samantha, it is almost as if it has become a customary thing. It's customary that when I see Samantha, that I must yell at her. Something about her just makes me want to yell at her, having no particular reason for doing so, but just the sight of Samantha just makes my head get filled with hot air, not filling my ego, but filling me with anger, filling me with this feeling of infuriating pain. I haven't even seen her yet, and I can already feel this sense of anger. I wonder where this little argument that we're bound to have is going to lead, it seems as if she has been trying to get me to be angry. It seems as if she is trying to make me snap, simply for the fact that if I snap to the point where I want to hit her, then she can sue me, or take me to court. I could possibly be thrown into jail for these actions, and most likely it will go her way. It usually almost always does go into the woman's favor. I'm going to refrain from letting her get into my head.
My head is already jumbled and screwed up enough as it is, and majority of the people, if not everyone already knows that my mind has a couple of screws loose, I could look amongst the mass of people that look at me, and give off the looks of curiosity, they don't agree with most of my actions. Samantha has been observing me, noticing that I've become more than angry with life as it is, she's trying to use my weakness in this point along the time line and push my buttons. Is it wrong of her to do this to me? She claims that she loves me, or loved me - and yet she's trying to break me down to the very foundation that started me. She's trying to soak me of everything that I have and leave me with nothing. How does that show the love that will never die out. I remember when she used to tell me the sweet little things that used to matter to me in life, like that she'll be there forever for me. Where is she at now? the opposing side with the rest of the world as it seems trying to break me down, trying to sink me into nothingness. I would have never even dreamed of this day, I never expected this day to come. I guess I had my head up in the clouds for longer than I even knew myself, being in love seemingly makes you blind to a lot of things. Was I blinded by Samantha? Cupid had placed an arrow above my head, and joined myself and Samantha together. Either it was for love, or a life-long lesson.
I like to look at it as some life-long lesson because we aren't together so we aren't meant to last forever, or maybe this is just one of bumps that is along the many on this road. I doubt this is one of those lessons because myself and Samantha are at that point in our relationship where we've done so much that we don't even want to get back together. I feel as if we ever did get back together then things would never ever be the same again. She may be too afraid to tell me something because of what had transpired, after me almost laying my hands upon her, she will be scarred for a long time, looking at me from the corner of my eye, scared every time that I lift up my hand, she'll flinch. I would have to look at her, and see the time where I could only think about being pissed off at her, and maybe those old little feelings will spark back up between the two of us, and I'll just be even more pissed off at her, as I look back on the artifacts in time.
As I walk up the driveway, I could see Samantha peering through the curtains, and looking, watching, stalking me as I make my way up the driveway. It made me feel a bit uncomfortable, but as I panned up towards her, our eyes locking. Samantha gave me a slight nod, and she disappeared from view, and soon after she appeared at the front door, it seemed as if she had ran to the door, what was she running for? Excited to see me? Did she just want to argue? Did she enjoy arguing that much that she just couldn't wait to argue with me. Yeah, that makes me feel really good. The fact that she wants nothing more than to argue with me, just makes me want to jump for joy. I may seem to be the argumentative type, but I dread arguing, especially with Samantha because majority of the time, she either ends up sobbing all over the floor, or she just keeps talking and talking, never learning when to truly drop the topic, and just move on. What kind of man wants to argue all of the time? Let me rephrase, what type of person wants to argue all of the time? Samantha is that kind of person that just loves to argue, any time of the day, with any person that she can possibly think of. I hate arguing, but as I look at her, as I look into those eyes that pierce through my being, I just know that it's inevitable, and it's going to happen very, very soon. What's going to spark it though? And how?
I trudge my way into the house, it seemed like there was struggle to get past her, she was beaming this look of hate towards me, what was I supposed to do? Of course the look that she shot at me, was very unsettling, and sure I wanted to stop right at the door, and ask her, better yet demand from her to tell me just what was she looking at? But then it'd be a stupid question because just like myself, she had all the reason in the world to be mad at me right now. Probably just the sight of me mad her pissed off, but if she felt this way then rest assured, the feelings were rather mutual for me too, and as logic would suggest. It was only the two of us being human, and reacting as a normal human being would react in a situation such as ours. I find having to meet up with her to be an action that is rather tedious though. Listening to her talk about her actions, that seem to have no true origin of thought that makes sense that is. Pretty much her arbitrary actions make me furious because she seems to have moments of impetuosity.
She cannot make up her mind these days, I find that sometimes she makes up excuses on the spot, right then and there, sometimes she ends up not making any sense whatsoever. Why does she do this? The fact that she makes these things up on the spot just makes her more prone to being wrong, does she want to be wrong? Or does she want to be right? These days, she seems to have let up on me. Is she taking pity on me? I hate to think that maybe she has purposely let up on me. Is this all apart of her hidden agenda? I sometimes question her methods, what does she have to gain out of leaving me? This is potentially one of the biggest mistakes that she can ever possibly make throughout her lifetime. Maybe she has left me for another man perhaps? It's the only logical thing that I can truly think of. Why doesn't she just come out and tell me? What is there to hide from? I ponder about it, within the few seconds that it took me to enter the house, that was the only thing that was on my mind really. Why did I care though? The thoughts kept creeping back into my mind, the more I tried to shove them out of my mind, the more they came back into my mind.
As I made my way into the home, it all seemed so familiar, it seemed as if it has been forever since I last walked into this home, yet it has only been a little less than a week since I last stepped foot in this place. I picked up Alanna, and then spent the rest of my time off with Samantha, spent arguing and bickering, it was all non-stop. What was wrong with myself at this particular moment? The more I looked at her, standing there, looking at her, flashbacks of the times when I used to talk to Samantha and kiss her, rode back into my mind. What made me so crazy right now? So vacillate? I go from hating Samantha, to looking at her and having these images, these flashbacks, to the times where we used to be in love? Am I crazy? I think so. Am I crazy for this? I doubt it, it'd probably happen to most men and women in my predicament, but let's face facts. I'm not the most sane man on the roster, now am I? Most of the people that roam around aimlessly know that I'm not the sanest man on the roster, I take pride in that to be honest. I want to be different from everyone else, I want to stand out, and if I haven't done that yet, then I don't even know what I've been doing here for this long then. People often find themselves repulsed by my actions, yet a few stick around, like Lacey. I think about it, I ponder and I contemplate, just why did they stick around when the rest of them seem to be repelled. It's funny how in this moment when I'm doing all of this thinking; Samantha was looking at me, when the same look that I threw at her.
An odd moment indeed, so what did this really mean? Was she thinking about the same things that I was thinking? Was she having those flashbacks, to the time where we would get intimate, around the time that she got impregnated with Alanna. Those were the best times right there, maybe more so because of what came out of it. But as I looked at Samantha more, the more the hate seemed to disappear, but once she spoke aloud. The anger grew back to it's last altitude.
Samantha Speno: "Randy... I took Alanna back to your parent's house when you called me and told me that you were pretty much back here in St. Louis. I figured when we work things out between the two of us, then I'll find it right for you to see Alanna."
Randy Orton: "What?! I have to work things out with you to be able to see my own daughter? What kind of sense does that make? What does anything I have between you, have to do with me and Alanna? Are you stupid?"
Samantha Speno: "I'm tired of you asking me if I'm stupid or asking me if I am stupid."
Randy Orton: "... Then stop acting it."
I rolled my eyes and cracked my knuckles, slowly turning my attention away from Samantha and heading up the stairs to throw my bags down. She followed behind me slowly and didn't even stop talking the whole time up the steps.
Samantha Speno: "Randy I am not stupid! You know damn well that I'm not stupid, and that you cannot see Alanna until we work this out, I don't want Alanna to be around all of this - this negative energy that is between us!"
Randy Orton: "Negative energy? You make the energy around us negative, just let me see my daughter, and... all will go pleasantly."
Samantha Speno: "Is that a threat towards me Randy?"
Randy Orton: "Why are you so stubborn?"
She slapped me right across my face, and I looked at her instantly after impact was made, I quickly got up into her face, out of reflex she backpedaled into the wall. I pressed my hands forcefully up against the wall, seemingly in some way or another trapping her, stopping her from being able to escape from my clutches. If she really wanted to, then she could escape, but fear had taken over her, she was too struck with fear to even be able to think straight, instead she just quivered there in her high heel boots. My shadow hovering over her, creating this almost silhouette of her before me.
Randy Orton: "Do not... touch me."
I murmured to her under my breath, the words escaping from my mouth between my teeth, as I bit down ferociously. Before I knew it, I looked at her, shaking. Sobbing, the repetition of last week all over again, I rolled my eyes and backed away from her. This time we had gotten more physical, after she slapped me. As I stood up and looked at her back still pressed against the wall, I rubbed the side of my cheek and looked at her, pressing my tongue against the inner part of my cheek. I could feel the pain on the inside of my mouth as well. Her hand is heavy, one swift slap and it felt as if my teeth were about to come flying out of my mouth. I wanted to hit her back, but instead I put my hand underneath her chin, and I slowly moved in, with involuntary movements, I couldn't stand seeing her in this state, not again. Perhaps I am human and perhaps I do have feelings towards other people, it just seems to be absent towards many people, Samantha gets the love and affection part of me, as does Lacey. But, at this point in time, I had just become a full fledged adulterer, and I knew it. I kissed Samantha upon her rosy lips, the warmness of her lips that I hadn't felt pressed against mine in so long. She reciprocated, pressing her lips back up against mine. What had just transpired? I couldn't even tell you because it had all happened so fast, it all was a blur to me. She pushed herself away from the wall, and wrapped her arms around me, I had done the same, I broke away from the kiss. It felt all too wrong, yet all too good, before I could utter a word, she kissed me yet again. Her hand pressed against the back of my head, I didn't know the meaning of this. What was she doing? I admit that I had become unfaithful and kissed her myself, but she's continuing. Perhaps the fire does burn within the both of us still. Who knew it burned this much, as we continued to make our way deeper into the house. Our lips never separating until we got to the bedroom. Her's pulled away from mine, to pull my shirt up. This didn't feel right, but I was too captivated and shocked with what happened to stop it all.
I let it happen, does this make me the bad guy? This is indeed my ex-wife, was it bound to happen? Does something like this happen often? Have I fallen statistic to what has been expected of me in this moment in time. I really did not feel right about this, but there was this unexplainable force between the both of us that just kept pulling me back in, before I knew it, she had her shirt off, and the rest of the essentials that went along with her ensemble. A swift press on the chest, pushing me onto the bed, my pants still attached. She began to crawl with her naked body slowly making it's way to me. I could feel the temperature in the room rising as I continued to watch her make her way up to me ever so seductively. What was I to do right now? She slowly undid my belt buckle and I accepted it, I closed my eyes and waited for her to pull down my pants. Biting down on my bottom lip, did I want this just as bad as her? Or did she not want this but had a hidden agenda? I wanted this. I craved this. I'm a male, this is expected of me, isn't it? Or shall I say; I am Randy Orton. This is expected of me isn't it? People would love to think that I've changed for the better. They're infatuated with the thought of me changing for the better.
My pants slowly slid off of me, and tossed to the bedside on the floor. We were both naked on the bed, the silk sheets feeling rather cold pressed up against my back. Slowly she crawled her way up, I could feel her body rubbing up against mine as she did so. It felt good, it brought back memories. I closed my eyes yet again, I could feel her hands massaging my chest and my stomach area, her lips pressing up against my neck. There had to have been more than just Samantha in this bed, it felt as if she were in twelve places at once. Before I knew it, her legs were placed at my sides, and the covers were placed over me, she slowly began to rock back and forth, sexual arousal, it felt good, it fueled me, and it brought out all of the frustration within me, all just unleashed on Samantha, but in the form of sex. Was this a way to vent for me? I would have to look at it, in this way for now, to ease the wrong in the situation and look at it in a lighter light. Slowly, we changed positions, I know resided on top, and I felt the anger pouring out of me as I went faster and faster, her moans her groans. All made me feel a certain extent of satisfaction. Maybe this little experience could be good for both myself and Samantha, although for myself and Lacey? Oh shit... before I knew it, exhaustion had set in, Samantha passed out not long after we had just done what neither of us expected to be done, I wrapped my arms around her naked body, and pressed myself up against her back. Thoughts running through my head, thinking about Lacey. Yet I had the audacity to still press myself closer in towards her, and slip inside. I'm a cruel person, hopefully Lacey doesn't find out. But in this business, when you're exposed to the world as I am. Things are bound to come around full circle. She'll find out soon enough, and when she does... all hell will break loose. I just hope I'm champion by then, maybe in some way or another that may ease the pain that may come to me, emotionally or physically. I've just landed myself in a big mess. My will to resist Samantha, was growing, but now has reached... an all time low.
end
"Envious minds join together and they look at me, shoot me the eyes that radiate off the hate of a thousand men, filled with envy that could overflow within the snap of a finger. Look at me and see what you want and wish to be, yet you cannot be me. The pain that eats deep within you, not only am I striving to become a WWE Champion, which in the end, I shall succeed, but I'm also leading you people to lead a life of want. The greed that you find yourself captivated under, is overwhelming sometimes isn't it? I sit here in the lap of luxury while you sit and sulk in the life of poverty and oppression, I feel no remorse towards you, for you have no perseverance. Which is why, I shall have no remorse when time of judgment, finds itself bestowed upon Triple H, CM Punk, Judas and for them they are nothing but a simple obstacle just waiting to get toppled over, and the mere fact or opinion, in which I find them to be clearly over there heads, when they think that in the matter of beating me or losing, they choose to ascend the ladder, and state that they believe that within a regular match, or any match for that matter... they could beat me."
"They dread to think of the day where my arm is raised, and I ascend the throne, where I become there upper power, as if I already am not. They have this deranged thought that has him distraught and delusional, to the point where they actually believe to some extent that we are on the same playing field, what kind of drug have they been popping? Those deviant people who are out of their minds, gone loony, will return later on. Throughout everything though, they does not cease to amaze me, it must be there goal, it must be there mission to go out there, and go out of there way and amaze me, with there stupidity. There an imbecile that should have been left back in the womb, the world can do without a Triple H, CM Punk, and Judas. Sorry if I sound a bit mean in this particular moment in time, but my name is Randy Orton... whoever said that I was nice clearly made a mistake. So if you expected different from me, where I'm to coat you with sugar coated gum drops, then you're sadly mistaken. Go to Candice Michelle, she'll give you something."
"Which eventually veers me over to the subject of Candice Michelle where I think these continual non-stop thoughts of her delusional state of mind, it's not a rare case for the two who are indeed a couple that needs counseling to have the same sorts of problems. It really is a shame, to see a woman who I held in high regards to fall and descend herself down the ladder to such depths, in the bowels of the industry with trash. I laugh at the name and spit on there legacy, if they have enough courage to step up to the plate, then I guess I should honor them for bravery and sheer stupidity. I do not honor those who have fallen due to nothing but stupid decisions in which they know that they are diving in dangerous waters, I'm the shark and there some innocent bystander on there surf boards, defenseless, and just harmless to me and my surroundings, there bound to go down with a thud, and after I take down there fallen carcasses, I shall stand over them, breathing heavily, not due to the match because it was so quick, but due to the voyage that took place for me to get in the ring, I find it that I exerted more energy to get to the match, than I had done within the official match. Triple H, CM Punk, and Judas you guys are nothing to me, you might as well not even show up. There is no use, because there is no chance for you guys, and if you thought for a split second that you guys had even an ounce of a chance, then allow me to slap you in your faces with the authority of a St. Louis Ram. I cannot even fathom your guys thought process, and believe me, I've thought about what could make you guys think that you have a shot at beating me, and oh guys don't get down, you're not left alone in the bunch. "
"For you guyd, I look at you, and I see a men who had all of the potential in the world - had all of it, and then wasted it on some useless things that they didn't need. Pandering to the crowd, saying what they want to hear, it's all a wasted effort, because a boo or a cheer really doesn't change the outcome of the match, the fact that I get cheered, just simply makes me that much more vicious and violent to the fact that I'm liked. It's not anything new to me, I've been cheered since I could remember, just for being Cowboy Bob Orton's son, I was cheered. I find it to be funny that I've been in the spotlight since I could remember, being the son of a legend, yet here comes Judas, demanding for some shred of light to be shone down on him, does it make him feel any better, does it make him feel more accomplished? The simple fact that I am only human, but at the same time withhold super human strengths like the power to persevere... me having those powers does not give me the power to warp into the idiotic minds of people like Triple H, CM Punk, and Judas. They think that they have a chance on god's green earth to beat me, let alone myself."
"Although Triple H seems to have had this seemingly, change of heart where he wants to be the good guy, I don't know what type of good that is going to get him, but he seems to have turned his back, and bit the hands that have fed him, in a sense... I've helped mold Triple H into the man that he is today, he wouldn't be who he is, if it weren't for me and a couple of other people who helped Triple H get to where he is right now, and it makes me sick to my stomach that he turns his back on the men that helped him throughout his whole career pretty much. Shall I laugh at his stupidity and acts of imbecility or should I be infuriated at him because he's so stupid, and because I thought that I could trust him? I thought that I had something in Triple H that I could trust, I guess that he's just as dishonest and disloyal on the inside as he appears to look on his exterior image. I just wonder how this match is going to pan out throughout the night, most people are probably predicting that Triple H will win the match, simply because he's a lot more experienced than the rest of us, wait no... I think CM Punk is older than I am. Why do they still call him that young blue chipper then? They just leave me be as the man with the chip on his shoulder with a seemingly score to settle."
"Should I be happy that I'm younger than CM Punk? Does age make someone better than another? Does it in some way or another, give someone the upper hand? Sure, one looks at someone's age and they say... look at CM Punk and they automatically think that he may have more experience than me, well guess what? If there's anyone that has more experience in this field, then come to me, and let me know. I'm a third generation superstar, most branches don't go back that far, and so if you want to talk about a wrestling family, then talk about the Orton's. Or talk about the legendary Hart family. But, when you think Legend in the making, you better think of me. Exclude the posers and the wannabes like Judas. Where is he going to get in this industry? In this company? I'll tell you exactly where he's going to get, and that's nowhere but with his face planted in the mat, delivered to him courtesy of myself, via an RKO. Now, Judas can think what he wants to think, he can think that he has a shot, if you can even call it that, he can think that he's going to in somehow, some way, in some shape or form create a miracle from his ass. Shall it come to a pass? I'm a prophet, I know what's going to happen, and this is not part of the prophecy, the prophecy is that I will become champion on Raw, and so it shall come to a pass when the time comes, and when that time comes then what? Will all people worship me? I doubt it, I've been at the top before, ascended above all else, and they look up at me, and they gun for my title. It's a shame that sometimes, if not most of the time, there is this gullible new superstar that feels he can take me on, whether or not I'm champion."
"The price you pay of being a champion, or the price you pay of being in the public eye, I guess? Labeled as one of the most controversial superstars, I've always got the press and the fans' eyes on me, looking for me to screw something up, or mess something up; not in a bad way, but in other words, looking for me to be mischievous and cook something up within my sleeve. I laugh at these people, because they keep their eyes glued to me, in anticipation, they wonder what's wrong with the reluctance, I don't strike when the people are looking at me, what kind of stealth is that? These men they try to be stealthy and in some way take me down, sometimes they're as upfront as Shelton is being right now, the man is clearly not as sophisticated or in other words smart as he leads himself into being. I expect an Albert Einstein, he talks so highly of himself, as if he himself has won an Olympic gold medal also. I have minimal respect for CM Punk, the only man that I had some single strand of respect for was Triple H, and now that strand has in some way blown away with the wind, once he decided to double cross me, and move over to a side, that should be shunned upon. I cannot believe a man that I let into my own home, has turned his back on me, and stabbed me in the back. I feel betrayed. I know the feeling all too well, it seems lately."
"Betrayal seems to be the theme of my life these days, as if god has planned it out for me to be a witness, a victim of betrayal at this day and age, I hate the feeling of betrayal, I block out my emotions with a dam that seems to not even be there, it's invisible. They don't even notice for a second that I'm trying to block out my emotions, but don't think that for a second that what Triple H has done has really stung me deeply. His little betrayal case towards me, is nothing more than a paper cut, the cut that has really gotten to me deeply, is one made with the knife from the ex-wife. It still stings when I touch it, the wound is rather.... fresh."
June 3rd, 2010
2:09pm
Samantha and myself are sort of going through this rough patch, it's hard for her to stomach seeing me in the arms of another woman, the man that she used to hold near and dear to her, had now been running off with another woman, the jealousy that courses throughout her veins is becoming boiling hot to the point where she can barely stand still, without having to fan herself down. Irrevocably, she will soon come to the realization that she shouldn't have left me. Subsequently, nearly inevitably, I was going to run off with another woman, the only thing that kept me from doing so was Samantha, what is to hold me back now? I have no ties with her anymore, besides the result of our marriage, Alanna, the only tie that is left with her, it cannot be broken, and it cannot be untied. Turn back the hands of time, is something that we cannot do, but within this particular moment, in this little predicament of sorts, I bet that Samantha wishes that she could take back everything that has been said and has been done. The words; "I do." Lodged back in her throat, it may be a bit radical to say something of the sort, as it pertains to a matter like this, especially when Alanna was to come of the marriage, but to be frank.. Samantha, she probably wouldn't give a shit.
The matter of her being free, without child, probably sounds really good to her about now. I cannot lie, if Alanna weren't here, then I probably would be done with Samantha entirely and I would have been ran away with Lacey and just never spoke to Samantha again. But, she's the mother of my child, what am I to do? I cannot sit back and just not have any time with the mother of my child, what type of father would they brand me? What type of man would they make me out to be? Other than the man that they see on television. They'd probably call me heartless, a bastard. I've been called everything in the book, and labeled as things that I wish not to repeat in this day and age, but to be labeled as a man who potentially ran out on his only daughter, is a man that I wish not to be, and therefore - I will not be that man and fall statistic to the long line of guys that eventually run out on their wives, their girlfriends. It's not of my nature to do that, when I start something I follow through with it, anyone who knows me, knows that the statement holds up all of the truth in the world. Samantha knows me, which is why in this particular moment, she knows that I will come to her alone, she knows that I will at least attempt to hold up some civilized conversation, because of Alanna.
Our last meeting had not gone so well, with me near the brink of snapping on her, leads her to question me, and give her even more reason to believe that I have changed, but I do agree with her. I have changed, maybe for the better, maybe for the worst? I do not judge myself, as it pertains to my behavior or my attitude, all I do know is that this is me. I am Randy Orton, I will not change for no man, no woman or no child. Maybe for Alanna but mainly because she is mine, and mine alone. Excluding Samantha for the time being. Samantha likes to claim that I have changed, and pin the whole spiel upon my shoulders, giving me the burden that is quite hard to carry, that is one of her favorite things to do, to loosen up things on her, is throw something on someone else' shoulders and make them feel like complete crap. I can stand here and tell you right now, that when Samantha told me that I changed and that I wasn't there for Alanna when she needed me, I was on the verge of breaking down. Ever seen me break down? It takes a lot for it to happen, much more than any man or woman on the roster can get me to. They cannot, or do not mean enough to me, to get to me, to get into the mantle of my brain, the inner-core. Lacey isn't even at that point yet, and even though me and Samantha are going through our little rough patch, I can honestly tell you that I still care about Samantha as much as I did when we first started dating.
I'll try to deny it as much as I'd like to, but in the end the truth holds up that I'm still her baby's father, and I'm still her husband. Does this mean that I'm an adulterer, because we're still joined together by law? We're living under the same roof, does this make me a man who has committed a sin? Well, if it is... I've got news for pretty much everyone, there is no sin that I have no broken in my lifetime. And I pretty much assure you that I will not stop right now, not even close to stopping right now. There is much more sinning to go around for me, I'll bring it all into the light and bring everyone else down with me, send me to hell. I've been living the life of the devil my whole life with devious actions, nothing less than satanic and sadistic throughout my whole life. Being branded as a sinner can only make me human because there is no such thing as a saint, and it seems as if, Samantha was seeing these apparitions, that are flung towards us by the movie industry. She believes in the perfect relationship. No such thing as that..
Here I stand, in the driveway, after just being dropped off by a cab, the plane ride was something, it seemed as if it had taken forever to get here, but in reality it took literally no more than three hours to get here in St. Louis. I looked at my home, the one that I bought, the one that Samantha was still living in currently, I had hoped that she didn't bring Alanna, I would hate for something to take a wrong turn, like me yelling at Samantha and having Alanna have to witness that, I don't yell at Samantha, but lately it has become a frequent action of mine to yell at Samantha, it is almost as if it has become a customary thing. It's customary that when I see Samantha, that I must yell at her. Something about her just makes me want to yell at her, having no particular reason for doing so, but just the sight of Samantha just makes my head get filled with hot air, not filling my ego, but filling me with anger, filling me with this feeling of infuriating pain. I haven't even seen her yet, and I can already feel this sense of anger. I wonder where this little argument that we're bound to have is going to lead, it seems as if she has been trying to get me to be angry. It seems as if she is trying to make me snap, simply for the fact that if I snap to the point where I want to hit her, then she can sue me, or take me to court. I could possibly be thrown into jail for these actions, and most likely it will go her way. It usually almost always does go into the woman's favor. I'm going to refrain from letting her get into my head.
My head is already jumbled and screwed up enough as it is, and majority of the people, if not everyone already knows that my mind has a couple of screws loose, I could look amongst the mass of people that look at me, and give off the looks of curiosity, they don't agree with most of my actions. Samantha has been observing me, noticing that I've become more than angry with life as it is, she's trying to use my weakness in this point along the time line and push my buttons. Is it wrong of her to do this to me? She claims that she loves me, or loved me - and yet she's trying to break me down to the very foundation that started me. She's trying to soak me of everything that I have and leave me with nothing. How does that show the love that will never die out. I remember when she used to tell me the sweet little things that used to matter to me in life, like that she'll be there forever for me. Where is she at now? the opposing side with the rest of the world as it seems trying to break me down, trying to sink me into nothingness. I would have never even dreamed of this day, I never expected this day to come. I guess I had my head up in the clouds for longer than I even knew myself, being in love seemingly makes you blind to a lot of things. Was I blinded by Samantha? Cupid had placed an arrow above my head, and joined myself and Samantha together. Either it was for love, or a life-long lesson.
I like to look at it as some life-long lesson because we aren't together so we aren't meant to last forever, or maybe this is just one of bumps that is along the many on this road. I doubt this is one of those lessons because myself and Samantha are at that point in our relationship where we've done so much that we don't even want to get back together. I feel as if we ever did get back together then things would never ever be the same again. She may be too afraid to tell me something because of what had transpired, after me almost laying my hands upon her, she will be scarred for a long time, looking at me from the corner of my eye, scared every time that I lift up my hand, she'll flinch. I would have to look at her, and see the time where I could only think about being pissed off at her, and maybe those old little feelings will spark back up between the two of us, and I'll just be even more pissed off at her, as I look back on the artifacts in time.
As I walk up the driveway, I could see Samantha peering through the curtains, and looking, watching, stalking me as I make my way up the driveway. It made me feel a bit uncomfortable, but as I panned up towards her, our eyes locking. Samantha gave me a slight nod, and she disappeared from view, and soon after she appeared at the front door, it seemed as if she had ran to the door, what was she running for? Excited to see me? Did she just want to argue? Did she enjoy arguing that much that she just couldn't wait to argue with me. Yeah, that makes me feel really good. The fact that she wants nothing more than to argue with me, just makes me want to jump for joy. I may seem to be the argumentative type, but I dread arguing, especially with Samantha because majority of the time, she either ends up sobbing all over the floor, or she just keeps talking and talking, never learning when to truly drop the topic, and just move on. What kind of man wants to argue all of the time? Let me rephrase, what type of person wants to argue all of the time? Samantha is that kind of person that just loves to argue, any time of the day, with any person that she can possibly think of. I hate arguing, but as I look at her, as I look into those eyes that pierce through my being, I just know that it's inevitable, and it's going to happen very, very soon. What's going to spark it though? And how?
I trudge my way into the house, it seemed like there was struggle to get past her, she was beaming this look of hate towards me, what was I supposed to do? Of course the look that she shot at me, was very unsettling, and sure I wanted to stop right at the door, and ask her, better yet demand from her to tell me just what was she looking at? But then it'd be a stupid question because just like myself, she had all the reason in the world to be mad at me right now. Probably just the sight of me mad her pissed off, but if she felt this way then rest assured, the feelings were rather mutual for me too, and as logic would suggest. It was only the two of us being human, and reacting as a normal human being would react in a situation such as ours. I find having to meet up with her to be an action that is rather tedious though. Listening to her talk about her actions, that seem to have no true origin of thought that makes sense that is. Pretty much her arbitrary actions make me furious because she seems to have moments of impetuosity.
She cannot make up her mind these days, I find that sometimes she makes up excuses on the spot, right then and there, sometimes she ends up not making any sense whatsoever. Why does she do this? The fact that she makes these things up on the spot just makes her more prone to being wrong, does she want to be wrong? Or does she want to be right? These days, she seems to have let up on me. Is she taking pity on me? I hate to think that maybe she has purposely let up on me. Is this all apart of her hidden agenda? I sometimes question her methods, what does she have to gain out of leaving me? This is potentially one of the biggest mistakes that she can ever possibly make throughout her lifetime. Maybe she has left me for another man perhaps? It's the only logical thing that I can truly think of. Why doesn't she just come out and tell me? What is there to hide from? I ponder about it, within the few seconds that it took me to enter the house, that was the only thing that was on my mind really. Why did I care though? The thoughts kept creeping back into my mind, the more I tried to shove them out of my mind, the more they came back into my mind.
As I made my way into the home, it all seemed so familiar, it seemed as if it has been forever since I last walked into this home, yet it has only been a little less than a week since I last stepped foot in this place. I picked up Alanna, and then spent the rest of my time off with Samantha, spent arguing and bickering, it was all non-stop. What was wrong with myself at this particular moment? The more I looked at her, standing there, looking at her, flashbacks of the times when I used to talk to Samantha and kiss her, rode back into my mind. What made me so crazy right now? So vacillate? I go from hating Samantha, to looking at her and having these images, these flashbacks, to the times where we used to be in love? Am I crazy? I think so. Am I crazy for this? I doubt it, it'd probably happen to most men and women in my predicament, but let's face facts. I'm not the most sane man on the roster, now am I? Most of the people that roam around aimlessly know that I'm not the sanest man on the roster, I take pride in that to be honest. I want to be different from everyone else, I want to stand out, and if I haven't done that yet, then I don't even know what I've been doing here for this long then. People often find themselves repulsed by my actions, yet a few stick around, like Lacey. I think about it, I ponder and I contemplate, just why did they stick around when the rest of them seem to be repelled. It's funny how in this moment when I'm doing all of this thinking; Samantha was looking at me, when the same look that I threw at her.
An odd moment indeed, so what did this really mean? Was she thinking about the same things that I was thinking? Was she having those flashbacks, to the time where we would get intimate, around the time that she got impregnated with Alanna. Those were the best times right there, maybe more so because of what came out of it. But as I looked at Samantha more, the more the hate seemed to disappear, but once she spoke aloud. The anger grew back to it's last altitude.
Samantha Speno: "Randy... I took Alanna back to your parent's house when you called me and told me that you were pretty much back here in St. Louis. I figured when we work things out between the two of us, then I'll find it right for you to see Alanna."
Randy Orton: "What?! I have to work things out with you to be able to see my own daughter? What kind of sense does that make? What does anything I have between you, have to do with me and Alanna? Are you stupid?"
Samantha Speno: "I'm tired of you asking me if I'm stupid or asking me if I am stupid."
Randy Orton: "... Then stop acting it."
I rolled my eyes and cracked my knuckles, slowly turning my attention away from Samantha and heading up the stairs to throw my bags down. She followed behind me slowly and didn't even stop talking the whole time up the steps.
Samantha Speno: "Randy I am not stupid! You know damn well that I'm not stupid, and that you cannot see Alanna until we work this out, I don't want Alanna to be around all of this - this negative energy that is between us!"
Randy Orton: "Negative energy? You make the energy around us negative, just let me see my daughter, and... all will go pleasantly."
Samantha Speno: "Is that a threat towards me Randy?"
Randy Orton: "Why are you so stubborn?"
She slapped me right across my face, and I looked at her instantly after impact was made, I quickly got up into her face, out of reflex she backpedaled into the wall. I pressed my hands forcefully up against the wall, seemingly in some way or another trapping her, stopping her from being able to escape from my clutches. If she really wanted to, then she could escape, but fear had taken over her, she was too struck with fear to even be able to think straight, instead she just quivered there in her high heel boots. My shadow hovering over her, creating this almost silhouette of her before me.
Randy Orton: "Do not... touch me."
I murmured to her under my breath, the words escaping from my mouth between my teeth, as I bit down ferociously. Before I knew it, I looked at her, shaking. Sobbing, the repetition of last week all over again, I rolled my eyes and backed away from her. This time we had gotten more physical, after she slapped me. As I stood up and looked at her back still pressed against the wall, I rubbed the side of my cheek and looked at her, pressing my tongue against the inner part of my cheek. I could feel the pain on the inside of my mouth as well. Her hand is heavy, one swift slap and it felt as if my teeth were about to come flying out of my mouth. I wanted to hit her back, but instead I put my hand underneath her chin, and I slowly moved in, with involuntary movements, I couldn't stand seeing her in this state, not again. Perhaps I am human and perhaps I do have feelings towards other people, it just seems to be absent towards many people, Samantha gets the love and affection part of me, as does Lacey. But, at this point in time, I had just become a full fledged adulterer, and I knew it. I kissed Samantha upon her rosy lips, the warmness of her lips that I hadn't felt pressed against mine in so long. She reciprocated, pressing her lips back up against mine. What had just transpired? I couldn't even tell you because it had all happened so fast, it all was a blur to me. She pushed herself away from the wall, and wrapped her arms around me, I had done the same, I broke away from the kiss. It felt all too wrong, yet all too good, before I could utter a word, she kissed me yet again. Her hand pressed against the back of my head, I didn't know the meaning of this. What was she doing? I admit that I had become unfaithful and kissed her myself, but she's continuing. Perhaps the fire does burn within the both of us still. Who knew it burned this much, as we continued to make our way deeper into the house. Our lips never separating until we got to the bedroom. Her's pulled away from mine, to pull my shirt up. This didn't feel right, but I was too captivated and shocked with what happened to stop it all.
I let it happen, does this make me the bad guy? This is indeed my ex-wife, was it bound to happen? Does something like this happen often? Have I fallen statistic to what has been expected of me in this moment in time. I really did not feel right about this, but there was this unexplainable force between the both of us that just kept pulling me back in, before I knew it, she had her shirt off, and the rest of the essentials that went along with her ensemble. A swift press on the chest, pushing me onto the bed, my pants still attached. She began to crawl with her naked body slowly making it's way to me. I could feel the temperature in the room rising as I continued to watch her make her way up to me ever so seductively. What was I to do right now? She slowly undid my belt buckle and I accepted it, I closed my eyes and waited for her to pull down my pants. Biting down on my bottom lip, did I want this just as bad as her? Or did she not want this but had a hidden agenda? I wanted this. I craved this. I'm a male, this is expected of me, isn't it? Or shall I say; I am Randy Orton. This is expected of me isn't it? People would love to think that I've changed for the better. They're infatuated with the thought of me changing for the better.
My pants slowly slid off of me, and tossed to the bedside on the floor. We were both naked on the bed, the silk sheets feeling rather cold pressed up against my back. Slowly she crawled her way up, I could feel her body rubbing up against mine as she did so. It felt good, it brought back memories. I closed my eyes yet again, I could feel her hands massaging my chest and my stomach area, her lips pressing up against my neck. There had to have been more than just Samantha in this bed, it felt as if she were in twelve places at once. Before I knew it, her legs were placed at my sides, and the covers were placed over me, she slowly began to rock back and forth, sexual arousal, it felt good, it fueled me, and it brought out all of the frustration within me, all just unleashed on Samantha, but in the form of sex. Was this a way to vent for me? I would have to look at it, in this way for now, to ease the wrong in the situation and look at it in a lighter light. Slowly, we changed positions, I know resided on top, and I felt the anger pouring out of me as I went faster and faster, her moans her groans. All made me feel a certain extent of satisfaction. Maybe this little experience could be good for both myself and Samantha, although for myself and Lacey? Oh shit... before I knew it, exhaustion had set in, Samantha passed out not long after we had just done what neither of us expected to be done, I wrapped my arms around her naked body, and pressed myself up against her back. Thoughts running through my head, thinking about Lacey. Yet I had the audacity to still press myself closer in towards her, and slip inside. I'm a cruel person, hopefully Lacey doesn't find out. But in this business, when you're exposed to the world as I am. Things are bound to come around full circle. She'll find out soon enough, and when she does... all hell will break loose. I just hope I'm champion by then, maybe in some way or another that may ease the pain that may come to me, emotionally or physically. I've just landed myself in a big mess. My will to resist Samantha, was growing, but now has reached... an all time low.
end
uncut and explicit!
