Post by "Lethal Weapon" Steve Blackman on Apr 7, 2017 2:40:11 GMT -5
The scene opens up with Burris Troy sitting in a chair along side The Lethal Weapon Steve Blackman
Burris Troy:
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I am Burris Troy, and we are here in the studio at ThyWWE Headquaters for an exclusive interview with none other than the Lethal Weapon himself... Steve Blackman!
Steve Blackman just stares coldly.
Burris Troy:
Steve, first of all, thank you very much for agreeing to come here, and have a sit down chat with me.
"Lethal Weapon" Steve Blackman:
No problem, Burris. Thanks for having me, I guess.
Burris Troy:
Now, I have a feeling that you may have a lot that you want to get off your chest, but let's get to some questions first. My first question is this: After the end of the New Age, you are apparently a free man. Where do you go from here?
"Lethal Weapon" Steve Blackman:
That's a tough question to answer, Burris. I'm sure you watched my match last week against Dominic Reynolds. You know what happened, but if any of them out there don't know... I got knocked the hell out! I beat the hell out of Reynolds, and he still one upped me and had his hand raised as the victor. I knew what his game plan was going to be heading in to that match, and he still pulled it off. That's the worst part. I prepared for Reynolds, and he still won.
Steve Blackman stops for a moment, gathering his thoughts. He continues.
"Lethal Weapon" Steve Blackman:
Something has to change. Not with Thy WWE, but with myself. I pride myself in being an honorable man, but in a world of dishonorable men, how far can that get you? Not very far if you ask me. It worked at first, but my competition have caught on. As a warrior, and a fighter, you must learn to adapt to your surroundings. My surroundings right now seem to be very dishonorable, so I've come to the conclusion that I am to succeed in the Thy WWE of today, I will have to become a very dishonorable man.
Burris Troy:
But, Steve, doesn't that go against everything you were taught while being trained?
"Lethal Weapon" Steve Blackman:
Do your self a favor, Burris. Don't ever mention my training again. You've probably never trained a day in your life, and no... standing in front of the mirror holding your hair brush as a microphone doesn't count. I'm talking about raw, balls to the ball training that you couldn't handle. So, don't you dare talk to me about training! Do not speak of things that you know nothing about.
Burris Troy:
I apologize.
"Lethal Weapon" Steve Blackman:
Yeah, you would. I train like a damn beast every single day. I train harder than every single guy in the back, but what good is all the training? What good is all of the meditation when you're going up against the biggest snakes, and worms in the world? Well, from here on out, I'm going to be just as slippery, and slimy as all of them. Then we'll see who the real losers are.
Burris Troy:
Alright, moving on. Have you had any contact with any of the members of the dismantled New Age?
"Lethal Weapon" Steve Blackman:
What's up with these questions, Burris? Quit living in the past. The New Age is dead and buried. I'm trying to forget about that period of my career and move on to bigger and better things, but everybody keeps asking me about the New Age. Read my lips. I. Don't. Give. A. Damn. About. Any. Of. Them. It was an easy pay check, that's all. I did what I was paid to do. Now, follow my lead, and forget about the damn New Age. All of you!
Burris Troy:
Well, we should probably touch up upon your opponent this week. The newly signed, Captain Rump. Fans are getting pretty excited about this guy. He's been a hit on the indy scene, and has gathered himself quite the cult following. What are your thoughts heading in to this match against the debuting Captain Rump?
"Lethal Weapon" Steve Blackman:
I'm not too happy about it, to be quite honest. In fact, I'm pretty pissed off about it! I mean, I've been busting my ass every damn day my entire life, and this big, fat piece of flab just gets handed a contract because a bunch of stupid fans think he's something? You can tell that the guy doesn't work out. He's just a big, fat slob. Training to this guy is sitting around in his underwear, eating Cheet-O's in his mother's basement. The fact that I have to share the ring with this guy sickens me. Everything about Captain Rump sickens me. He's a damn joke wrestler! His physique is garbage. His move set is mostly just ass-based attacks. How is this guy even a wrestler?
Burris Troy:
Well, he is extremely entertaining if you've watched any of his indy stuff.
"Lethal Weapon" Steve Blackman:
I don't give a damn if people think he's entertaining! Yeah, I watched his stuff. It wasn't the mildest bit funny. It wasn't entertaining. It was stupid. His whole gimmick is stupid! And, the fans that buy in to his crap? They may be the stupidest of all. I mean, I don't get it. Is that what wrestling has become? Some fat ass wearing a cape, running around shaking his ass? And they wanna cheer that? It boggles my mind!
Burris Troy:
What would you say to Captain Rump if he were right now?
"Lethal Weapon" Steve Blackman:
I wouldn't be saying anything to him. I'd have laid him out the second he walked through that door, and I would make damn sure that he never stepped foot inside a Thy WWE ring. But, since he's not here, I'll have to wait until RAW to do that. So, Captain Rump, take the twinkie out of your big, fat face for a second and listen up. If you think that I'm going to allow you to pull off any of your indy trash shenanigans during our match, then you are a damn fool! This is the big leagues, son. You don't get by with just... *hand quotations*... being entertaining. From the looks of you, I'm guessing that your cardio is completely non-existent, and from the looks of your flabby arms, the only thing you lift weighs about a quarter of a pound, and his covered with cheese. You're a joke, Captain Rump. You do not not belong here, and I will not stand by and watch you make a mockery of this business. Your attack is very predictable, as well. But, I'll give you a small piece of advice. Keep your fat, disgusting, sweaty ass away from me, or it's just going to keep getting fatter and fatter, cause you won't be able to walk after I'm done with you. It probably stinks.
Burris Troy:
Well, there you have it, folks. Strong words from Steve Blackman. We'll see if he can back them up this week on RAW!
"Lethal Weapon" Steve Blackman:
Oh, is that supposed to be funny? Now, you're telling jokes at my expense?
Burris Troy:
I'm not sure what you're referring to...
"Lethal Weapon" Steve Blackman:
Don't play coy with me. I've heard the song. Back dat ass up! I am furious! I'm just going to go ahead and say it... this is... this is...
THIS IS BULLSHIT!
Steve Blackman then rips off his microphone, and storms off the set. Leaving Burris Troy with a bewildered look on his face.
