Post by Joey The Bastard on Aug 24, 2016 1:56:22 GMT -5
The scene opens up inside of Thy WWE Owner and CEO, Joey the Bastard's office at Thy Headquarters. We see a shot of his desk with the Thy WWE World Championship placed smack dab in the middle. The camera zooms in to the Title, then we see one boot come up and be placed on the table behind it. Then a second boot come in to the shot as the camera pans out to reveal Joey the bastard himself, lounging in his chair with his feet up and crossed on his desk. The Bastard seems to be in a state of relaxation as he holds in his hands behind his head, feet crossed on his desk, leaning back in his super expensive looking office chair.
JTB: You know, guys, I can't wait tomorrow night. It's been far too long since Triana and I have gone out on an actually date. And, I gotta admit... I've been busy being the heart and soul of Thy WWE, and I haven't been pulling my weight in the relationship. Being the number one guy in the business takes up a lot of your time. Not like any of you would ever know what I mean, but that's beside the point. The point is, Triana deserves better than what she's received over the years here in Thy WWE. Triana should be placed on a pedestal high atop the tallest mountain for all of you out there to look up to, to admire, and to adore. But, she isn't. She is considered to be equal to the likes of Blade LaVigne, Bob Cena, Zak Shields, and Beno. That's not fair, and part of it is my fault. I'll take the blame for that, but that all ends tomorrow night. Because Triana isn't equal to those men, She is above them. Triana is above every man, woman, and child on the face of this Earth, and to be considered equal to guys like them is an outright insult. Triana has beaten Blade LaVigne. Triana has beaten Zak Shields. And, when the chance comes, Triana will beat Beno and Bob Cena as well, and not because she has to. But, because she can. Me? Well, I've beaten all four of those losers, and I did it with ease, but I don't wanna sit here and talk about all the great things that I've done. Such as, saving Thy WWE from Blade LaVigne's two year reign of terror as Thy WWE World Champion in my very first one on one title shot. Or, making Thy WWE great again by ridding it of that fossil Vince McMahon. That's all in the past. Let's talk about the future. Triana is the future of professional wrestling, and if you don't believe me, then you aren't a real fan professional wrestling. That's right. I am the one man on this planet who can judge you on your wrestling fandom, because I AM WRESTLING! I am Thy WWE through and through. I am the very back bone of this company, and if any of you disagree, sit back for a second and think about where Thy WWE would be right now with out Joey the Bastard. Go ahead, picture it... You done? What did you see? NOTHING! Because with out me, Thy WWE would cease to exist. When I go, Thy WWE goes with me. So, when you hear guys like Blade LaVigne talk about how they wanna rid Thy of guys like Joey the Bastard, what they're really saying is that they want Thy WWE to die! And then you cheer them for that? That's insane! They say I'm a cancer!? Bros, I'm like fuckin' life support for this place. I got my hand on that plug, and I could pull it any second and end it all any time I want. But I don't. You wanna know why? Because, contrary to popular belief, I love doing this. I love gettin cheered, and I really love gettin booed. I love putting on the best match on the card. I love kicking ass and taking names. And I love the chaos that comes with being the top dawg in professional wrestling. And most of that chaos? It's brought on by yours truly.
The Bastard moves his hands from behind his head, and streches his fingers by interlocking them and raising his arms above his head.
JTB: This whole New Age deal... it's all about the chaos, baby! How much pressure can a promotion endure before it crumbles? How much can one man take before he finally snaps and throws his morals out the window? What makes a person tick? Those are the questions that NEED to be answered. Not "who's better?". We all know that I'm the best, so that question is moot. But, how long can Kurt Orton be my bitch? Is his family's security worth the inner turmoil he suffers on a daily basis? How long will it take before he throws it all away? It's gonna happen, but when? WHEN? I'M DYIN' TO KNOW! And, I'm deadly serious about all the praise I give Triana, and how much I worship her, but even Triana knows that I'm the best. That's what attracts her to me. But, here's another chaos theory question... What happens when Triana starts to think otherwise? What if Triana became the number one contender? I'm sure you'd all love to see that! Think of the chaos that that would bring! But, sadly, Triana and I share an unbreakable bond that no title could ever rupture. And, tomorrow night, that bond grows that much stronger, because this date I speak of - it isn't your usual run of the mill dinner and a movie. It's gonna be the two of us taking turns beating the living hell out of Blade LaVigne and Beno. Then when we get tired of taking turns, we'll beat their asses together. Because inflicting pain, and making others suffer is what gets us off. It's what brought us together. And, it will be what keeps us together until the end of time. I'm tellin' you. This is gonna be the perfect date. Take notes.
The Bastard leans over and grabs the Thy WWE Title from the desk and rests it on his shoulder.
JTB: But, I'm also dead serious about this... There is absolutely NOBODY on this roster who deserves the hold this belt other than me. You all know it's true, so don't even flirt with any other ideas. Every other wrestler in the back with the exception of Triana of course is washed up. Bob Cena? He's washed up. I know he's my team mate and we are supposed friends, but he kinda sucks these days. Not gonna lie. Kurt Orton is a shell of his former self, and that isn't saying much because Kurt Orton was never really all that great. Robert Garrett? I'll admit. I was a fan. But he fizzled out real quick. Troy Motor has been brainwashed yet again. How times is it now, Troy? Three times now you've been brainwashed? You fuckin' moron! You're the laughing stock of this whole damn industry! Robert Saints put up a good fight last week... or so he thinks. I was just humoring him because I thought he needed a little boost. Plus, I wanted all of you out there to get your money's worth. I could have ended Saints in a second. Why? Because he sucks, that's why! Oh, but what about Sasha Banks? And Charlotte? Sasha Banks is a million times the wrestler than Charlotte is, but Sasha Banks isn't a millionth of what I am. She's undefeated because I've been taking it easy on her when booking her. Cause every time a new person shows up, they go on a winning streak, then they get a chance to shine, and they fail. Then you know what they do next? They fuckin' run home! Sasha Banks will be no different. Little bitch trying to put me on blast for booking her against jabronis when she's a damn jabroni herself! Hey, Sasha, you wanna talk shit about management again? I'll make sure you or that amazon you call a wife never open your mouths again. Yeah, we get it. You're lesbians. Big deal. I'm glad you two did decide to get the braces though, cause there were a few scraggle teeth in there that needed to be addressed. See, my point is that I'm supposed to be playing with toys in a sandbox, but it's not very fun when all your toys have been replaced with turds. Hey, I got an open door policy! You got a problem come on in. I'd be more than happy to slap each and every one of you in the mouth, and kick you in the ass on your way out of my office. That brings me to our opponents for RAW tomorrow night. Blade and Beno. The leaders of Team Thy, Vince McMahon's team of fossils. Are you guys sure you even wanna show up tomorrow? I mean, it'll hard for Vince to win his company back when two of his five guys can't even compete, right? Because, that's what will happen if you two show up. I'm taking Triana out for the night of her life, and if she decides that she wants to end your careers, I can't say no, you know? Tomorrow night is Triana's night. It's not about you two. Blade, it will never ever be about you ever again. That time has passed. And, Beno? I'm not convinced that it was ever really about you. Are you? Cause even though you were the Champ, all people were talking about was what Joey the Bastard was doing. Did you here what JTB said? Did you see his last promo? The Bastard's match at the PPV was awesome! When will JTB be the Champion? Triana and I are a couple of roses floating in a bowl full of turds, and it's really starting to stink in here with you two clowns still kickin' it. But, here, come with me for a second...
The Bastard gets up and the camera follows. He walks over to his personal wash room and opens the door. He stands next to the toilet.
JTB: There's only one thing left to do with Blade LaVigne and Beno and the rest of Team Thy WWE. So listen closely, I'll let you all in on the final solution...
JTB: You know, guys, I can't wait tomorrow night. It's been far too long since Triana and I have gone out on an actually date. And, I gotta admit... I've been busy being the heart and soul of Thy WWE, and I haven't been pulling my weight in the relationship. Being the number one guy in the business takes up a lot of your time. Not like any of you would ever know what I mean, but that's beside the point. The point is, Triana deserves better than what she's received over the years here in Thy WWE. Triana should be placed on a pedestal high atop the tallest mountain for all of you out there to look up to, to admire, and to adore. But, she isn't. She is considered to be equal to the likes of Blade LaVigne, Bob Cena, Zak Shields, and Beno. That's not fair, and part of it is my fault. I'll take the blame for that, but that all ends tomorrow night. Because Triana isn't equal to those men, She is above them. Triana is above every man, woman, and child on the face of this Earth, and to be considered equal to guys like them is an outright insult. Triana has beaten Blade LaVigne. Triana has beaten Zak Shields. And, when the chance comes, Triana will beat Beno and Bob Cena as well, and not because she has to. But, because she can. Me? Well, I've beaten all four of those losers, and I did it with ease, but I don't wanna sit here and talk about all the great things that I've done. Such as, saving Thy WWE from Blade LaVigne's two year reign of terror as Thy WWE World Champion in my very first one on one title shot. Or, making Thy WWE great again by ridding it of that fossil Vince McMahon. That's all in the past. Let's talk about the future. Triana is the future of professional wrestling, and if you don't believe me, then you aren't a real fan professional wrestling. That's right. I am the one man on this planet who can judge you on your wrestling fandom, because I AM WRESTLING! I am Thy WWE through and through. I am the very back bone of this company, and if any of you disagree, sit back for a second and think about where Thy WWE would be right now with out Joey the Bastard. Go ahead, picture it... You done? What did you see? NOTHING! Because with out me, Thy WWE would cease to exist. When I go, Thy WWE goes with me. So, when you hear guys like Blade LaVigne talk about how they wanna rid Thy of guys like Joey the Bastard, what they're really saying is that they want Thy WWE to die! And then you cheer them for that? That's insane! They say I'm a cancer!? Bros, I'm like fuckin' life support for this place. I got my hand on that plug, and I could pull it any second and end it all any time I want. But I don't. You wanna know why? Because, contrary to popular belief, I love doing this. I love gettin cheered, and I really love gettin booed. I love putting on the best match on the card. I love kicking ass and taking names. And I love the chaos that comes with being the top dawg in professional wrestling. And most of that chaos? It's brought on by yours truly.
The Bastard moves his hands from behind his head, and streches his fingers by interlocking them and raising his arms above his head.
JTB: This whole New Age deal... it's all about the chaos, baby! How much pressure can a promotion endure before it crumbles? How much can one man take before he finally snaps and throws his morals out the window? What makes a person tick? Those are the questions that NEED to be answered. Not "who's better?". We all know that I'm the best, so that question is moot. But, how long can Kurt Orton be my bitch? Is his family's security worth the inner turmoil he suffers on a daily basis? How long will it take before he throws it all away? It's gonna happen, but when? WHEN? I'M DYIN' TO KNOW! And, I'm deadly serious about all the praise I give Triana, and how much I worship her, but even Triana knows that I'm the best. That's what attracts her to me. But, here's another chaos theory question... What happens when Triana starts to think otherwise? What if Triana became the number one contender? I'm sure you'd all love to see that! Think of the chaos that that would bring! But, sadly, Triana and I share an unbreakable bond that no title could ever rupture. And, tomorrow night, that bond grows that much stronger, because this date I speak of - it isn't your usual run of the mill dinner and a movie. It's gonna be the two of us taking turns beating the living hell out of Blade LaVigne and Beno. Then when we get tired of taking turns, we'll beat their asses together. Because inflicting pain, and making others suffer is what gets us off. It's what brought us together. And, it will be what keeps us together until the end of time. I'm tellin' you. This is gonna be the perfect date. Take notes.
The Bastard leans over and grabs the Thy WWE Title from the desk and rests it on his shoulder.
JTB: But, I'm also dead serious about this... There is absolutely NOBODY on this roster who deserves the hold this belt other than me. You all know it's true, so don't even flirt with any other ideas. Every other wrestler in the back with the exception of Triana of course is washed up. Bob Cena? He's washed up. I know he's my team mate and we are supposed friends, but he kinda sucks these days. Not gonna lie. Kurt Orton is a shell of his former self, and that isn't saying much because Kurt Orton was never really all that great. Robert Garrett? I'll admit. I was a fan. But he fizzled out real quick. Troy Motor has been brainwashed yet again. How times is it now, Troy? Three times now you've been brainwashed? You fuckin' moron! You're the laughing stock of this whole damn industry! Robert Saints put up a good fight last week... or so he thinks. I was just humoring him because I thought he needed a little boost. Plus, I wanted all of you out there to get your money's worth. I could have ended Saints in a second. Why? Because he sucks, that's why! Oh, but what about Sasha Banks? And Charlotte? Sasha Banks is a million times the wrestler than Charlotte is, but Sasha Banks isn't a millionth of what I am. She's undefeated because I've been taking it easy on her when booking her. Cause every time a new person shows up, they go on a winning streak, then they get a chance to shine, and they fail. Then you know what they do next? They fuckin' run home! Sasha Banks will be no different. Little bitch trying to put me on blast for booking her against jabronis when she's a damn jabroni herself! Hey, Sasha, you wanna talk shit about management again? I'll make sure you or that amazon you call a wife never open your mouths again. Yeah, we get it. You're lesbians. Big deal. I'm glad you two did decide to get the braces though, cause there were a few scraggle teeth in there that needed to be addressed. See, my point is that I'm supposed to be playing with toys in a sandbox, but it's not very fun when all your toys have been replaced with turds. Hey, I got an open door policy! You got a problem come on in. I'd be more than happy to slap each and every one of you in the mouth, and kick you in the ass on your way out of my office. That brings me to our opponents for RAW tomorrow night. Blade and Beno. The leaders of Team Thy, Vince McMahon's team of fossils. Are you guys sure you even wanna show up tomorrow? I mean, it'll hard for Vince to win his company back when two of his five guys can't even compete, right? Because, that's what will happen if you two show up. I'm taking Triana out for the night of her life, and if she decides that she wants to end your careers, I can't say no, you know? Tomorrow night is Triana's night. It's not about you two. Blade, it will never ever be about you ever again. That time has passed. And, Beno? I'm not convinced that it was ever really about you. Are you? Cause even though you were the Champ, all people were talking about was what Joey the Bastard was doing. Did you here what JTB said? Did you see his last promo? The Bastard's match at the PPV was awesome! When will JTB be the Champion? Triana and I are a couple of roses floating in a bowl full of turds, and it's really starting to stink in here with you two clowns still kickin' it. But, here, come with me for a second...
The Bastard gets up and the camera follows. He walks over to his personal wash room and opens the door. He stands next to the toilet.
JTB: There's only one thing left to do with Blade LaVigne and Beno and the rest of Team Thy WWE. So listen closely, I'll let you all in on the final solution...
