Post by Joey The Bastard on Feb 15, 2016 22:04:46 GMT -5
You see that ring out there? Yeah, that belongs to me now. The production truck? The stage? The ramp? All of it is mine. You.. you belong to me, as well. All of you belong to me. Your names, and likenesses. Your library of matches. It all belongs to me! I am the ruler of the wrestling world, and as long as you work for Thy WWE, I will be your boss. I am the God of Thy WWE, and each and every one of your future's lay in my hands. That Thy WWE World Championship? Blade LaVigne may hold on to it now, and he can call himself the Champion, but that belt is MY property. Now, I could just strip him of the title and declare myself the Champion, but what kind of douche bag do you think I am? Do I deserve it? Hell yeah, I do, but where's the fun in that? Where's the hook to snag the viewers? It's all about the battle, and stripping Blade LaVigne would be too easy. His pain would last mere moments. I want Blade LaVigne to suffer. I want you all to suffer...
***
The Bastard sat in the chair at his desk in his office inside Thy WWE Headquarters in Stamford. He was leaning back, sitting there looking like a young Mister Burns, thinking about, and admiring his recent accomplishments. He was the new Owner, and CEO of Thy WWE, and Joey was quite proud of himself. He had burned the murals of Vince McMahon, Triple H, and Stephanie that were hung on the walls on the very first day. They were a thought of the past here at Thy Headquarters. In fact, if anybody so much as mentioned their names, The Bastard would fire them on the spot. Gwen, Vince McMahon's secretary for the past twenty years, found that out the hard way, and the Bastard couldn't care less if she had a family or not. You play by his rules, or you don't plat at all. The pictures of Vince McMahon & Co. were quickly replaced with pictures of JTB himself, along with his brethren in the New Age.
Joey was in a great mood this morning. It was the morning after he had fired Christian Knight on national television in front of the entire world, and you'd think he had gotten lucky during his very first date or something. He was rocking out to some tunes (I guess I shouldn't say "rocking out". Like, I stated before, he was deep in thought in his chair) and had a Jack & Coke sitting on his desk that he was working on. What was it? 10am? Must have been his third of the day already, but don't judge. He deserved those drinks, dammit, and if anybody even thought of questioning him on the matter, they'd be out that door so fast...
Knock knock
"Yeah. Come in." Joey said as his concentration broke from an inward thinking pattern to being directed toward his latest guest. His lawyer, Jimmy Douglas, walked in. Even though it had been weeks since the attack from Triple H, Jimmy still wore a neck brace. What a puss...
"Alright, Mr. B, I got that paperwork you asked for." Jimmy placed what looked to be a contract on JTB's desk in front of him. "All you have to do is sign it, and it's as good as done."
JTB leaned forward and lifted the first page, skimming it, then moving to the last page. "And this is iron clad like I requested? Non-sackable, no matter what?"
"No matter what."
"Even if I decide that I wanna sell, but still work, I can never be fired, right?" The Bastard seemed to be very adamant about this specific clause.
"You can never be fired. Well - you can, don't get me wrong. But, whoever fires you is going to have to pay you upwards of one hundred million dollars if they do." Jimmy was rather matter-of-factly in his delivery.
"Nice, Jimmy. Nice!" The Bastard was excited now. "Not that I'm worried or anything. But, just in case, y'know?"
"Right." Jimmy then changed the subject. "Now, we have to go over the new contracts."
"Jimmy. Shut the fuck up and listen for a sec, aight?" The Bastard was a little annoyed but still had a smirk on his face. "I told you. You handle the legal shit. You handle the money. Remember?"
"Yes, but - "
"Then what the fuck am I paying you for?" Joey wasn't smirking any more. In fact, he was growing more and more angry with each passing moment. "Seriously. Why am I paying you? Do you need guidance at every corner? Do I need to wipe your ass for you, too? We went over this! I don't give a crap about the contracts of those new piece of shit wrestlers. Fuck 'em! I don't care how much a shitty Blade LaVigne t-shirt is going to sell for. Are people buying them? Yes? Okay, then mark that shit up, son! Jesus, you're the legal rep! Not me! Start acting like you know what you're doing!"
"I apologize." Jimmy knew exactly how to respond when Joey was getting in to one of his... moods. Just nod and apologize. Yes, sir. Right away, sir.
"Now get the hell out of my office, and get that shit done!"
"Yes, sir. Right away, sir." And with that, Jimmy Douglas left the office, closing the door quietly behind him, and made his way to his own office cursing JTB's name in his head the whole way.
JTB sucked back the last of his Jack & Coke, got up and walked over to his bar and started to mix himself another.
"Well, look at you." A voice said from behind him. JTB spun around dropped his new drink on the carpet in shock as he saw his father sitting in his chair.
"Whoa, wait. What?" JTB was confused as a mutha fucka. "How did...? You're dead!"
"Am I?" His father asked with a chuckle. " I must say, that you've come a long way from that little snot nosed punk I knew."
"Yeah, you're fuckin' dead!" The Bastard said, loudly. " I watched you die!"
"And do you remember what I told you the moment before I died?" His father now leaned forward in the chair. The Bastard heard the chair squeak as he did so. The Bastard stared forward. He remembered it like it had happened yesterday. It stuck with him like herpes. "Ah, yes. You do remember. What was it again? Oh, yes, it was..."
"I have no son." The Bastard whispered. Then he almost flew off the handle, screaming at his dead father. "What the hell do you want from me? Why can't you just stay dead?"
"Don't you get it?" His father asked as he got up out the chair, walked up to Joey and poured himself a drink. "You need me."
"Like hell I do." The Bastard snapped. "I never needed you!"
"Keep telling yourself that, boy. But, you were the one who brought me here." His father then chugged back a full glass of Jack. "You need a reason to succeed, and I'm here to give you that reason." JTB's late father leaned in real close and whispered in his ear, "There's only one way to get rid of me for good, and I think you know what that is, don't you?"
"Shut it. I don't need your help. I can do it myself." The Bastard said, voice trembling a little.
"Then why am I here? You've had multiple chances, and you've never gotten the job done. Now, you're closer than you've ever been, and now, you're asking for my help." His father was almost laughing in his face now. "You need me here with you to give you a reason to complete your ultimate goal. Because until you do that, I will never go away!"
"No! I don't want you here." JTB was pleading.
"I can't do it, son." His father said in a mocking sort of comforting. "You brought me here. Only you can send me back."
"Leave me alone!" Joey screamed. "You're not my dad!"
The Bastard's office door swung open and Jimmy came running back in. "What's going on? I heard shouting. Are you okay?"
The Bastard looked scared. He looked at Jimmy. Then he looked back to his father. His father was gone. "He's gone."
"Who's gone?" Jimmy seemed genuinely concerned.
"I..." The Bastard shook his head. "It's nothing. I was just... going over my promo, that's all. Get out!"
Jimmy stared at JTB for a few seconds then looked at the floor. "Yes, sir." he said, then quietly closed the door. Joey then looked back to where his father was.
Nothing.
***
The scene opens up inside an empty movie theater. We can see the haze of cigarette smoke in the air. Joey the Bastard is sitting in the middle of the middle row waiting for a movie to start. He is the only person in the theater. The camera moves in and we see The Bastard with his feet up, having a smoke. He speaks...
JTB: Here I sit, like so many Robert Garrett fans around the world. Except, I'm not here in support of Mr. Garrett. Robert Garrett has just recently arrived on the scene, and he's already making waves. Garrett, when you walked through the doors of Thy WWE, you decided that it was a good idea to start talking shit about me. Me! Joey the Bastard! The most hardcore sonovabitch in professional wrestling! And I'm not talking HardKore Comley hardcore. I'm talking hardcore to the fucking bone. There are certain things that you should never do, Garrett. Never leave the washroom with out wiping your ass after taking a shit, and never... never bring my name up in a negative way and expect to get away with it. You see, I was in the same boat as you are now when I first burst in on the scene. I needed to get noticed. So, I dragged every top guy's name through the mud that I could. But, you know what happened? Absolutely nothing. Nobody took it seriously. Nobody bothered to care what I had to say, and look at what happened. I took over the damn company. If somebody had just said, "Hey, this guy shouldn't be sayin' that stuff" and shut me up, then I wouldn't be the man I am today. I wouldn't own Thy WWE! That's the difference between the legends of the past and myself. I see a newer guy speaking up, and I shut him up before he goes rogue. They made a huge mistake when they decided not to put me in my place. But me? I won't make that same mistake.
JTB flicks some ash over his shoulder and takes a puff of his smoke.
JTB: As much as I hate to admit it, Garrett, you really are a threat. And, instead of letting that threat fester and grow stronger and stronger, I need to crack out the trusty shovel and dig your grave for you. I mean, look at me. Look at what I've accomplished. If somebody had done something about it sooner, this whole thing could have been avoided. I could have just stayed on curtain-jerker duty. I could have remained... irrelevant. But, you, Mr. Garrett, you need to be snuffed out before it's too late, and instead of having one of my New Age brothers do it, I will do it my damn self! I was the first name that you mentioned in your debut promo, and I respect that. I did the same thing. I mentioned the top dawg, and I'm flattered that you feel that way about me, I really am. You know just as well as I do who the best in this company is. And when you drag the best's name through the mud, you better expect consequences.
JTB takes the kill puff of his smoke then flicks it in front of him.
JTB: Now, I could easily end you once and for all on RAW. I can end your career in a second if I feel like. But, what makes a true man is having the power to do something, and choosing not to do it. I don't have to end you, and I won't end you... yet. I will, however, put you in your place. You need to realize that you just don't have what it takes to be a top draw in this business. Stick to movies, but I gotta say - you ain't that great at that either. But, at least your action movies are decent. I'm actually excited for SuperBrawl. But, in order to be something in this business, you gotta go all in. You can't be around for a few months, then fuck off back to Hollywood to film another stinker.
JTB takes his feet down, and leans in close.
JTB: I am your superior in every possible way, Garrett. And, being the giving man who I am, I am giving you the opportunity of a life time this week on RAW. I promised that new guys would get chances and this is your lucky day, Garrett. Beat me, and you're set for life, and have proved that I was wrong about you. But, there's a big difference between talking shit, and backing it up. I just don't think you have what it takes to go toe to toe with the baddest bastard on the face of the Earth. But, now, after I show you and the world where your rightful place on the card is, you won't be able to bitch and moan about never getting and chances to shine. Because, you got your shot, and you failed. And, in case you're looking for a little preview of what's in store for you, take a look at this...
JTB points up at the the screen. The Thy WWE logo appears, then the trailer begins.
***IN A WORLD OF TYRANNY***
Vince McMahon is shown on screen laughing.
***ONE MAN STEPPED FORWARD***
We see a shot of JTB walking out on the entrance ramp.
***A MAN WITH OUT FEAR***
JTB is shown diving of the stage with Beno through an ambulance.
***WITH OUT REMORSE***
JTB and Triana are shown Spike Skrewdrivering AJ Orton in the ring.
***AND WITH OUT MERCY***
We see shots of JTB giving multiple people a one man con-chair-to.
***AND NOW, ROBERT GARRETT MUST STEP INSIDE THE RING***
We see a shot of Robert Garrett running away from HardKore Comley.
***WITH THE BIGGEST***
JTB flips off the crowd.
***THE BADDEST***
JTB hits HHH in the face with a sledgehammer.
***MOST EXTREME BASTARD IN TOWN***
Shot of JTB with crimson mask, laughing.
***IT'S ROBERT GARRETT VERSUS JOEY THE BASTARD***
We see a pissed off looking JTB and a scared looking Robert Garrett on the screen.
***THIS WEEK ON THY WWE: RAW***
And then the image on the screen explodes.
***RATED R***
The screen fades out and we see JTB giving a standing ovation.
JTB: Bravo! Bravo!
JTB continues to clap as the scene fades out.
JTB: That's money right there. That's money!
The End.
***
The Bastard sat in the chair at his desk in his office inside Thy WWE Headquarters in Stamford. He was leaning back, sitting there looking like a young Mister Burns, thinking about, and admiring his recent accomplishments. He was the new Owner, and CEO of Thy WWE, and Joey was quite proud of himself. He had burned the murals of Vince McMahon, Triple H, and Stephanie that were hung on the walls on the very first day. They were a thought of the past here at Thy Headquarters. In fact, if anybody so much as mentioned their names, The Bastard would fire them on the spot. Gwen, Vince McMahon's secretary for the past twenty years, found that out the hard way, and the Bastard couldn't care less if she had a family or not. You play by his rules, or you don't plat at all. The pictures of Vince McMahon & Co. were quickly replaced with pictures of JTB himself, along with his brethren in the New Age.
Joey was in a great mood this morning. It was the morning after he had fired Christian Knight on national television in front of the entire world, and you'd think he had gotten lucky during his very first date or something. He was rocking out to some tunes (I guess I shouldn't say "rocking out". Like, I stated before, he was deep in thought in his chair) and had a Jack & Coke sitting on his desk that he was working on. What was it? 10am? Must have been his third of the day already, but don't judge. He deserved those drinks, dammit, and if anybody even thought of questioning him on the matter, they'd be out that door so fast...
Knock knock
"Yeah. Come in." Joey said as his concentration broke from an inward thinking pattern to being directed toward his latest guest. His lawyer, Jimmy Douglas, walked in. Even though it had been weeks since the attack from Triple H, Jimmy still wore a neck brace. What a puss...
"Alright, Mr. B, I got that paperwork you asked for." Jimmy placed what looked to be a contract on JTB's desk in front of him. "All you have to do is sign it, and it's as good as done."
JTB leaned forward and lifted the first page, skimming it, then moving to the last page. "And this is iron clad like I requested? Non-sackable, no matter what?"
"No matter what."
"Even if I decide that I wanna sell, but still work, I can never be fired, right?" The Bastard seemed to be very adamant about this specific clause.
"You can never be fired. Well - you can, don't get me wrong. But, whoever fires you is going to have to pay you upwards of one hundred million dollars if they do." Jimmy was rather matter-of-factly in his delivery.
"Nice, Jimmy. Nice!" The Bastard was excited now. "Not that I'm worried or anything. But, just in case, y'know?"
"Right." Jimmy then changed the subject. "Now, we have to go over the new contracts."
"Jimmy. Shut the fuck up and listen for a sec, aight?" The Bastard was a little annoyed but still had a smirk on his face. "I told you. You handle the legal shit. You handle the money. Remember?"
"Yes, but - "
"Then what the fuck am I paying you for?" Joey wasn't smirking any more. In fact, he was growing more and more angry with each passing moment. "Seriously. Why am I paying you? Do you need guidance at every corner? Do I need to wipe your ass for you, too? We went over this! I don't give a crap about the contracts of those new piece of shit wrestlers. Fuck 'em! I don't care how much a shitty Blade LaVigne t-shirt is going to sell for. Are people buying them? Yes? Okay, then mark that shit up, son! Jesus, you're the legal rep! Not me! Start acting like you know what you're doing!"
"I apologize." Jimmy knew exactly how to respond when Joey was getting in to one of his... moods. Just nod and apologize. Yes, sir. Right away, sir.
"Now get the hell out of my office, and get that shit done!"
"Yes, sir. Right away, sir." And with that, Jimmy Douglas left the office, closing the door quietly behind him, and made his way to his own office cursing JTB's name in his head the whole way.
JTB sucked back the last of his Jack & Coke, got up and walked over to his bar and started to mix himself another.
"Well, look at you." A voice said from behind him. JTB spun around dropped his new drink on the carpet in shock as he saw his father sitting in his chair.
"Whoa, wait. What?" JTB was confused as a mutha fucka. "How did...? You're dead!"
"Am I?" His father asked with a chuckle. " I must say, that you've come a long way from that little snot nosed punk I knew."
"Yeah, you're fuckin' dead!" The Bastard said, loudly. " I watched you die!"
"And do you remember what I told you the moment before I died?" His father now leaned forward in the chair. The Bastard heard the chair squeak as he did so. The Bastard stared forward. He remembered it like it had happened yesterday. It stuck with him like herpes. "Ah, yes. You do remember. What was it again? Oh, yes, it was..."
"I have no son." The Bastard whispered. Then he almost flew off the handle, screaming at his dead father. "What the hell do you want from me? Why can't you just stay dead?"
"Don't you get it?" His father asked as he got up out the chair, walked up to Joey and poured himself a drink. "You need me."
"Like hell I do." The Bastard snapped. "I never needed you!"
"Keep telling yourself that, boy. But, you were the one who brought me here." His father then chugged back a full glass of Jack. "You need a reason to succeed, and I'm here to give you that reason." JTB's late father leaned in real close and whispered in his ear, "There's only one way to get rid of me for good, and I think you know what that is, don't you?"
"Shut it. I don't need your help. I can do it myself." The Bastard said, voice trembling a little.
"Then why am I here? You've had multiple chances, and you've never gotten the job done. Now, you're closer than you've ever been, and now, you're asking for my help." His father was almost laughing in his face now. "You need me here with you to give you a reason to complete your ultimate goal. Because until you do that, I will never go away!"
"No! I don't want you here." JTB was pleading.
"I can't do it, son." His father said in a mocking sort of comforting. "You brought me here. Only you can send me back."
"Leave me alone!" Joey screamed. "You're not my dad!"
The Bastard's office door swung open and Jimmy came running back in. "What's going on? I heard shouting. Are you okay?"
The Bastard looked scared. He looked at Jimmy. Then he looked back to his father. His father was gone. "He's gone."
"Who's gone?" Jimmy seemed genuinely concerned.
"I..." The Bastard shook his head. "It's nothing. I was just... going over my promo, that's all. Get out!"
Jimmy stared at JTB for a few seconds then looked at the floor. "Yes, sir." he said, then quietly closed the door. Joey then looked back to where his father was.
Nothing.
***
The scene opens up inside an empty movie theater. We can see the haze of cigarette smoke in the air. Joey the Bastard is sitting in the middle of the middle row waiting for a movie to start. He is the only person in the theater. The camera moves in and we see The Bastard with his feet up, having a smoke. He speaks...
JTB: Here I sit, like so many Robert Garrett fans around the world. Except, I'm not here in support of Mr. Garrett. Robert Garrett has just recently arrived on the scene, and he's already making waves. Garrett, when you walked through the doors of Thy WWE, you decided that it was a good idea to start talking shit about me. Me! Joey the Bastard! The most hardcore sonovabitch in professional wrestling! And I'm not talking HardKore Comley hardcore. I'm talking hardcore to the fucking bone. There are certain things that you should never do, Garrett. Never leave the washroom with out wiping your ass after taking a shit, and never... never bring my name up in a negative way and expect to get away with it. You see, I was in the same boat as you are now when I first burst in on the scene. I needed to get noticed. So, I dragged every top guy's name through the mud that I could. But, you know what happened? Absolutely nothing. Nobody took it seriously. Nobody bothered to care what I had to say, and look at what happened. I took over the damn company. If somebody had just said, "Hey, this guy shouldn't be sayin' that stuff" and shut me up, then I wouldn't be the man I am today. I wouldn't own Thy WWE! That's the difference between the legends of the past and myself. I see a newer guy speaking up, and I shut him up before he goes rogue. They made a huge mistake when they decided not to put me in my place. But me? I won't make that same mistake.
JTB flicks some ash over his shoulder and takes a puff of his smoke.
JTB: As much as I hate to admit it, Garrett, you really are a threat. And, instead of letting that threat fester and grow stronger and stronger, I need to crack out the trusty shovel and dig your grave for you. I mean, look at me. Look at what I've accomplished. If somebody had done something about it sooner, this whole thing could have been avoided. I could have just stayed on curtain-jerker duty. I could have remained... irrelevant. But, you, Mr. Garrett, you need to be snuffed out before it's too late, and instead of having one of my New Age brothers do it, I will do it my damn self! I was the first name that you mentioned in your debut promo, and I respect that. I did the same thing. I mentioned the top dawg, and I'm flattered that you feel that way about me, I really am. You know just as well as I do who the best in this company is. And when you drag the best's name through the mud, you better expect consequences.
JTB takes the kill puff of his smoke then flicks it in front of him.
JTB: Now, I could easily end you once and for all on RAW. I can end your career in a second if I feel like. But, what makes a true man is having the power to do something, and choosing not to do it. I don't have to end you, and I won't end you... yet. I will, however, put you in your place. You need to realize that you just don't have what it takes to be a top draw in this business. Stick to movies, but I gotta say - you ain't that great at that either. But, at least your action movies are decent. I'm actually excited for SuperBrawl. But, in order to be something in this business, you gotta go all in. You can't be around for a few months, then fuck off back to Hollywood to film another stinker.
JTB takes his feet down, and leans in close.
JTB: I am your superior in every possible way, Garrett. And, being the giving man who I am, I am giving you the opportunity of a life time this week on RAW. I promised that new guys would get chances and this is your lucky day, Garrett. Beat me, and you're set for life, and have proved that I was wrong about you. But, there's a big difference between talking shit, and backing it up. I just don't think you have what it takes to go toe to toe with the baddest bastard on the face of the Earth. But, now, after I show you and the world where your rightful place on the card is, you won't be able to bitch and moan about never getting and chances to shine. Because, you got your shot, and you failed. And, in case you're looking for a little preview of what's in store for you, take a look at this...
JTB points up at the the screen. The Thy WWE logo appears, then the trailer begins.
***IN A WORLD OF TYRANNY***
Vince McMahon is shown on screen laughing.
***ONE MAN STEPPED FORWARD***
We see a shot of JTB walking out on the entrance ramp.
***A MAN WITH OUT FEAR***
JTB is shown diving of the stage with Beno through an ambulance.
***WITH OUT REMORSE***
JTB and Triana are shown Spike Skrewdrivering AJ Orton in the ring.
***AND WITH OUT MERCY***
We see shots of JTB giving multiple people a one man con-chair-to.
***AND NOW, ROBERT GARRETT MUST STEP INSIDE THE RING***
We see a shot of Robert Garrett running away from HardKore Comley.
***WITH THE BIGGEST***
JTB flips off the crowd.
***THE BADDEST***
JTB hits HHH in the face with a sledgehammer.
***MOST EXTREME BASTARD IN TOWN***
Shot of JTB with crimson mask, laughing.
***IT'S ROBERT GARRETT VERSUS JOEY THE BASTARD***
We see a pissed off looking JTB and a scared looking Robert Garrett on the screen.
***THIS WEEK ON THY WWE: RAW***
And then the image on the screen explodes.
***RATED R***
The screen fades out and we see JTB giving a standing ovation.
JTB: Bravo! Bravo!
JTB continues to clap as the scene fades out.
JTB: That's money right there. That's money!
The End.
