Post by Joey The Bastard on Nov 26, 2014 18:24:07 GMT -5
The scene opens up on a sunny day on the campus of an unnamed college. It's a very busy and uppity scene as students can seen everywhere. Some are studying in groups, sitting in circles on the grass. Others are just hanging out, having fun and laughing. Other groups are tossing a frisbee back and forth while others are throwing a football. The camera pans over to see the back of Joey the Bastard watching everything unfold. He turns toward the camera and begins to speak.
JTB: Lot's of people say that college and high school are two different animals. They say that the cliches and social roles change and mean nothing once you escape high school and move on to greater things. Well, they're half right. But, there will always be some mainstays in the world of cliques and social status in the world of schooling. Sure, the days of the wannabe gangster are over. Hell, those guys are considered laughable in today's day and age. But, in the short period of time when I attended high school, being a wannabe gangster was the thing to be. If you weren't one of them, then you were in for a rough time, and me? I wasn't one of them. I was a punk rocker, and that's another breed of student that has also died down over the years. Let's be honest. High school is just full of poseurs. A bunch of teenagers who don't know who they wanna be, and think that they have to conform to non-conform. It's only after graduation that they figure out just who exactly they are, and this is where we are now.
College. A lot of the old high school mentality has carried over. It's just the roles that have changed. In college, a nerd can flourish, and a cool kid in high school can get kicked to the curb in way of a kid whose parents have more money. It's a true popularity contest. Whoever has the most money, has the most power. Whoever's family has the most prestigious history, gains the most. Just like in the real world. And if you come from a lesser pedigree and you start to make a name for yourself, jealousy will rear it's ugly head and they will throw you down the abyss like a piece of garbage. It's sickening, but it's no different from anything else in America. No different from any large multi-billion dollar corporation. No different from Thy WWE.
I've witnessed it first hand. I've made a name for myself in the wrestling business. I literally started from the bottom wrestling with guys like GreenSpark, and James Chaos. I broke free from the bottom feeders and started to gain the attention of the guys in charge. The popular ones. The ones with all the power. Sometimes in order to get ahead, you gotta dance. Did I dance? Hell yeah, I danced the fox-trot to get an opportunity, and I was given the scraps that the hot shots didn't want. But the thing that they refused to clue in on was that I was the biggest hot shot of them all, and I proved that every damn night. Every damn night that I went out in to that ring, I put on a clinic in what pro wrestling truly is. They had me jumping through hoops to even get a chance to get a chance because I didn't match up to what they believe is a viable champion, or worthwile face of the company. Do I wanna be the greatest Thy WWE superstar to never be World Champion? Hell no. My legacy on this business won't be complete without holding that title for just one night, and I will not rest until that day comes. Whether it comes from another A+ effort in this year's Ascension Rumble remains to be seen, but the higher ups are once again trying to take an opportunity away from me.
This week, Vince McMahon put me in a match with Rain. A rematch from last week where the New Age laid the boots to Rain. But this time, Rain has everything to gain, and I have everything to lose. He wins, he gets a shot at our Television and Intercontinental Championships. He wins, I lose my chance to face the champion at Wrestlemania. I'm out of the Rumble, plain and simple. Rain wants to call me a coward, that's fine. But, I don't need the help of my dawgs to take you down, Rain. I've beaten better opponents than you with out even breaking a sweat. How about you go grab a copy of last year's WrestleMania and check out my match with Beno. It stole the show, Rain, and that's something that I do every time that I step inside that ring. Am I nervous? Yeah, I'm a little nervous to have a match with you. I'm nervous that you're not gonna be able to measure up to my standards, Rain. I'm nervous about having to step in the ring with a man of such little in-ring talent, and the fans of the New Age are gonna feel ripped off after I beat you in under a minute. They wanna see an epic encounter, Rain. Can you help in providing them this? I highly doubt that, but thankfully for everybody watching around the world, I am more than capable of carrying you through yet another five-star Joey the Bastard match. This is the match that everybody wants to see. They don't care about Dan Maff beating the piss outta two jabronis. They don't wanna see another blab-fest from two washed up dinosaurs in Austin Starr and Christian Knight. They wanna see Rain vs Joey the Bastard, and I'm the only reason why they wanna see it.
What will The Bastard do next? Will The Bastard finally get his ass beat? How can The Bastard beat Rain by himself? That's what they all wanna know, and I'm not gonna spoil it now by giving it all away, but I think the answers are pretty damn obvious. I've made a career out of winning any way I can, and when it all comes down to it, when it really matters the most, I come out on top with the help of one man and one man only. Myself! I don't see what the big debate is. Oh no! New Age is banned from ringside? Uh oh. That doesn't mean a damn thing. I've beaten the so-called best of this business by myself, and Rain, you don't hold a candle to the likes of them. Name a former World Champion and I'll tell you that I've beaten them, and I'll tell you that we put on the match of the night. You may not be a former World Champion, but we're sure as hell gonna be involved in the match of the night. Because I made it that way! Every Joey the Bastard match is a Match of Year candidate. Put me in the ring with two jobbers and that will be the match that everybody will be talking about the rest of the week until the next Joey the Bastard match. I put on a show. I captivate audiences like no one else can, and I bring out a fire in my opponents. I bring out the best in anybody I'm in the ring with. And this week, I'll bring out the best in you, too. It's just a shame because your best isn't half as good as my best. I could go out and go 25%, win, and it'll still be the best match that these fans have seen in years.
I'm not holding anybody back. It's you who are holding yourself back, Rain. It's them who hold themselves back by not being able to compete at my level. You're all just not on my level! And, because somebody is on a hot streak, then they meet The Bastard and lose... that makes me the bad guy? Because I'm better than everybody on this whole damn roster? And, that's not a knock on my homies in New Age, it's just a solid fact. The fact that I've yet to receive a one-on-one match for the World Title is just ludacrious. It's a gross miscarriage of justice. And then guys like Rain get put into opportunities for title shots, and they have to go through me to get it. And when they fail, I get labeled as a guy who won't put anybody over. No, that's not it, I'm just better than you is all. I'm not some bitter gatekeeper. I'm not trying to cling on to my glory days like Knight and Starr and Beno. My glory days haven't even started yet! I am simply put, the absolute best that this company has to offer. See, I know exactly who I am. Do you know who you are, Rain? Have you figured it out yet? Well, let's run through some choices...
The Bastard turns and looks around the park setting of the college campus. He spots a group of guys playing football.
JTB: Are you a jock, Rain? A physical specimen of which the likes have never been seen before? Do you butt heads with your team mates for the sheer thrill of trying to find out who the alpha-male truly is? Sure, you're athletic. I'm athletic. We're athletic. We wouldn't be here if we weren't. But, jocks tend to be really, really stupid, and I know you're a smart guy, Rain.
The Bastard turns his attention to a group of kids playing Magic Cards a little closer to where he's standing.
JTB: Nerds... No, Rain, you're not that kind of smart. I wouldn't label you a nerd. Nerds are spineless, and you have backbone. I used to pick on kids like that cause it was fun, and their feeble attempts to fight back gave me pleasure. I have a feeling that if I tried to bully you, I'd be in for a real fight. Now, obviously I'd win, but you'd put up a way better fight than one of those nerds would.
The Bastard glances toward the steps and spots a bunch of students in sweater vests with a random emblem on the chest.
JTB: Ah, yes... The preps. Now, when I went to school, I could get along with almost any group. Even the jocks, cause I was pretty good at sports, but not great at being on a team. But, those pieces of trash? My sworn enemies until the day that I die. As for you, Rain, I don't believe that you would fall under the category of a prep. See, preps have friends, and lot's of them. You're a loner, Rain, and while I'm sure that your parents had lots of money, you didn't have the right social skillset to get in with a group like that.
JTB spots two dudes smoking a joint behind a bush. They're looking around nervously in case security shows up.
JTB: Man, I'm tempted to go steal a toke off those guys. You smoke dope, Rain? Maybe on occasion but you are no stoner. You have too much drive and ambition. Blind ambition, sure, but it's still there and you are in no way a lazy man. But, then, just what are you, Rain? Who are you? Not a poor man, but not many friends. A social outcast maybe?
JTB points out a kid in a black hoodie sitting up against a tree staring daggers at the people around him. He's clutching a backpack and has earbuds in his ears.
JTB: The freak! Is that you, Rain? The guy who everybody makes fun of. The guy with victim-rage. The guy who nobody wants to be around. The guy who everybody hates! The kid who listens to Marylin Manson with dreams of killing every last one of those bastards that ever made you feel sad. Is that you, Rain? The dark and mysterious one. The tortured genius who will never live to see his genius recognised. Sound familiar? How many grenades do you think that kid has in that backpack right now? He knows where all his dad's guns are, and he knows just how to use them. He's been practicing on cans in the woods. Soon, he'll start practicing on squirrels and birds, eventually moving up to cats and dogs, and then one day, his peers, his teachers, and then himself. See, of all the ones I've mentioned, this kid is the one that sounds the most like you Rain. Except for one thing, Rain's too much of a coward to pull the trigger. Rain will go throughout life getting put down by guys like me, guys like the preps, guys like the jocks. Hell, even the nerds will get some shots in on you. And while you may have dreams of becoming something more, something better, you will never amount to those aspiriations. You will forever be a scared little boy, with nobody to talk to, yearning for a way out. Sweet relief, Rain, and it's not hard. All you have to do is...
The Bastard pulls a handgun from out of his back pocket and holds it above his head pointing at the sky. He smiles, staring in to the camera.
JTB: Pull the trigger...
BLAM!
JTB: Lot's of people say that college and high school are two different animals. They say that the cliches and social roles change and mean nothing once you escape high school and move on to greater things. Well, they're half right. But, there will always be some mainstays in the world of cliques and social status in the world of schooling. Sure, the days of the wannabe gangster are over. Hell, those guys are considered laughable in today's day and age. But, in the short period of time when I attended high school, being a wannabe gangster was the thing to be. If you weren't one of them, then you were in for a rough time, and me? I wasn't one of them. I was a punk rocker, and that's another breed of student that has also died down over the years. Let's be honest. High school is just full of poseurs. A bunch of teenagers who don't know who they wanna be, and think that they have to conform to non-conform. It's only after graduation that they figure out just who exactly they are, and this is where we are now.
College. A lot of the old high school mentality has carried over. It's just the roles that have changed. In college, a nerd can flourish, and a cool kid in high school can get kicked to the curb in way of a kid whose parents have more money. It's a true popularity contest. Whoever has the most money, has the most power. Whoever's family has the most prestigious history, gains the most. Just like in the real world. And if you come from a lesser pedigree and you start to make a name for yourself, jealousy will rear it's ugly head and they will throw you down the abyss like a piece of garbage. It's sickening, but it's no different from anything else in America. No different from any large multi-billion dollar corporation. No different from Thy WWE.
I've witnessed it first hand. I've made a name for myself in the wrestling business. I literally started from the bottom wrestling with guys like GreenSpark, and James Chaos. I broke free from the bottom feeders and started to gain the attention of the guys in charge. The popular ones. The ones with all the power. Sometimes in order to get ahead, you gotta dance. Did I dance? Hell yeah, I danced the fox-trot to get an opportunity, and I was given the scraps that the hot shots didn't want. But the thing that they refused to clue in on was that I was the biggest hot shot of them all, and I proved that every damn night. Every damn night that I went out in to that ring, I put on a clinic in what pro wrestling truly is. They had me jumping through hoops to even get a chance to get a chance because I didn't match up to what they believe is a viable champion, or worthwile face of the company. Do I wanna be the greatest Thy WWE superstar to never be World Champion? Hell no. My legacy on this business won't be complete without holding that title for just one night, and I will not rest until that day comes. Whether it comes from another A+ effort in this year's Ascension Rumble remains to be seen, but the higher ups are once again trying to take an opportunity away from me.
This week, Vince McMahon put me in a match with Rain. A rematch from last week where the New Age laid the boots to Rain. But this time, Rain has everything to gain, and I have everything to lose. He wins, he gets a shot at our Television and Intercontinental Championships. He wins, I lose my chance to face the champion at Wrestlemania. I'm out of the Rumble, plain and simple. Rain wants to call me a coward, that's fine. But, I don't need the help of my dawgs to take you down, Rain. I've beaten better opponents than you with out even breaking a sweat. How about you go grab a copy of last year's WrestleMania and check out my match with Beno. It stole the show, Rain, and that's something that I do every time that I step inside that ring. Am I nervous? Yeah, I'm a little nervous to have a match with you. I'm nervous that you're not gonna be able to measure up to my standards, Rain. I'm nervous about having to step in the ring with a man of such little in-ring talent, and the fans of the New Age are gonna feel ripped off after I beat you in under a minute. They wanna see an epic encounter, Rain. Can you help in providing them this? I highly doubt that, but thankfully for everybody watching around the world, I am more than capable of carrying you through yet another five-star Joey the Bastard match. This is the match that everybody wants to see. They don't care about Dan Maff beating the piss outta two jabronis. They don't wanna see another blab-fest from two washed up dinosaurs in Austin Starr and Christian Knight. They wanna see Rain vs Joey the Bastard, and I'm the only reason why they wanna see it.
What will The Bastard do next? Will The Bastard finally get his ass beat? How can The Bastard beat Rain by himself? That's what they all wanna know, and I'm not gonna spoil it now by giving it all away, but I think the answers are pretty damn obvious. I've made a career out of winning any way I can, and when it all comes down to it, when it really matters the most, I come out on top with the help of one man and one man only. Myself! I don't see what the big debate is. Oh no! New Age is banned from ringside? Uh oh. That doesn't mean a damn thing. I've beaten the so-called best of this business by myself, and Rain, you don't hold a candle to the likes of them. Name a former World Champion and I'll tell you that I've beaten them, and I'll tell you that we put on the match of the night. You may not be a former World Champion, but we're sure as hell gonna be involved in the match of the night. Because I made it that way! Every Joey the Bastard match is a Match of Year candidate. Put me in the ring with two jobbers and that will be the match that everybody will be talking about the rest of the week until the next Joey the Bastard match. I put on a show. I captivate audiences like no one else can, and I bring out a fire in my opponents. I bring out the best in anybody I'm in the ring with. And this week, I'll bring out the best in you, too. It's just a shame because your best isn't half as good as my best. I could go out and go 25%, win, and it'll still be the best match that these fans have seen in years.
I'm not holding anybody back. It's you who are holding yourself back, Rain. It's them who hold themselves back by not being able to compete at my level. You're all just not on my level! And, because somebody is on a hot streak, then they meet The Bastard and lose... that makes me the bad guy? Because I'm better than everybody on this whole damn roster? And, that's not a knock on my homies in New Age, it's just a solid fact. The fact that I've yet to receive a one-on-one match for the World Title is just ludacrious. It's a gross miscarriage of justice. And then guys like Rain get put into opportunities for title shots, and they have to go through me to get it. And when they fail, I get labeled as a guy who won't put anybody over. No, that's not it, I'm just better than you is all. I'm not some bitter gatekeeper. I'm not trying to cling on to my glory days like Knight and Starr and Beno. My glory days haven't even started yet! I am simply put, the absolute best that this company has to offer. See, I know exactly who I am. Do you know who you are, Rain? Have you figured it out yet? Well, let's run through some choices...
The Bastard turns and looks around the park setting of the college campus. He spots a group of guys playing football.
JTB: Are you a jock, Rain? A physical specimen of which the likes have never been seen before? Do you butt heads with your team mates for the sheer thrill of trying to find out who the alpha-male truly is? Sure, you're athletic. I'm athletic. We're athletic. We wouldn't be here if we weren't. But, jocks tend to be really, really stupid, and I know you're a smart guy, Rain.
The Bastard turns his attention to a group of kids playing Magic Cards a little closer to where he's standing.
JTB: Nerds... No, Rain, you're not that kind of smart. I wouldn't label you a nerd. Nerds are spineless, and you have backbone. I used to pick on kids like that cause it was fun, and their feeble attempts to fight back gave me pleasure. I have a feeling that if I tried to bully you, I'd be in for a real fight. Now, obviously I'd win, but you'd put up a way better fight than one of those nerds would.
The Bastard glances toward the steps and spots a bunch of students in sweater vests with a random emblem on the chest.
JTB: Ah, yes... The preps. Now, when I went to school, I could get along with almost any group. Even the jocks, cause I was pretty good at sports, but not great at being on a team. But, those pieces of trash? My sworn enemies until the day that I die. As for you, Rain, I don't believe that you would fall under the category of a prep. See, preps have friends, and lot's of them. You're a loner, Rain, and while I'm sure that your parents had lots of money, you didn't have the right social skillset to get in with a group like that.
JTB spots two dudes smoking a joint behind a bush. They're looking around nervously in case security shows up.
JTB: Man, I'm tempted to go steal a toke off those guys. You smoke dope, Rain? Maybe on occasion but you are no stoner. You have too much drive and ambition. Blind ambition, sure, but it's still there and you are in no way a lazy man. But, then, just what are you, Rain? Who are you? Not a poor man, but not many friends. A social outcast maybe?
JTB points out a kid in a black hoodie sitting up against a tree staring daggers at the people around him. He's clutching a backpack and has earbuds in his ears.
JTB: The freak! Is that you, Rain? The guy who everybody makes fun of. The guy with victim-rage. The guy who nobody wants to be around. The guy who everybody hates! The kid who listens to Marylin Manson with dreams of killing every last one of those bastards that ever made you feel sad. Is that you, Rain? The dark and mysterious one. The tortured genius who will never live to see his genius recognised. Sound familiar? How many grenades do you think that kid has in that backpack right now? He knows where all his dad's guns are, and he knows just how to use them. He's been practicing on cans in the woods. Soon, he'll start practicing on squirrels and birds, eventually moving up to cats and dogs, and then one day, his peers, his teachers, and then himself. See, of all the ones I've mentioned, this kid is the one that sounds the most like you Rain. Except for one thing, Rain's too much of a coward to pull the trigger. Rain will go throughout life getting put down by guys like me, guys like the preps, guys like the jocks. Hell, even the nerds will get some shots in on you. And while you may have dreams of becoming something more, something better, you will never amount to those aspiriations. You will forever be a scared little boy, with nobody to talk to, yearning for a way out. Sweet relief, Rain, and it's not hard. All you have to do is...
The Bastard pulls a handgun from out of his back pocket and holds it above his head pointing at the sky. He smiles, staring in to the camera.
JTB: Pull the trigger...
BLAM!
