“At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict or not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with husband, a friend, a child, or a parent”
I wish I could have been a better man.
I wish I could have been a better father.
But I was not.
I’ve made so many mistakes in this world and I live with the repercussions of them every single day.
I thought I could juggle two different worlds.
Kenneth Walker, the professional wrestler, the superstar who is adored by all.
And Kenneth Walker the husband and father, a man who was loved and revered by his wife and children.
It took losing everything and getting it back for me to realize just how wrong I was.
I remember Austin telling me a long time ago that there was no such thing in this world as a happy ending. His words struck me as jaded and cynical and I dismissed them as such. I was always fascinated with the idea of a happy ending, the good guy conquering the bad guy and riding off into the sunset with the damsel in distress. I thought that night after Wrestlemania was going to be my fairy tale fantasy becoming a reality.
I was wrong.
God I was such a fool.
I knew I was toxic to them.
I knew the problem was me.
I thought that removing myself from their lives was going to be the hardest decision I ever made…..it wasn’t.
I thought that getting myself put together was going to be the hardest decision I ever made……it wasn’t.
Do you know what was?
The night I looked myself in the mirror and decided that it was time for me let them back in. The night terrors that used to wrack my body on a nightly basis had finally subsided. The ravenous need to get that fix from the needle going into my arm had finally passed. For the first time in a truly long time, my mind was clear and I knew that I needed to let my family back in.
I was terrified of it being awkward. I had told myself that Austin, Lily and Michael had moved on as if I never existed. Honestly if they had, I couldn’t really blame them.
But do you know something?
It wasn’t.
It wasn’t the slightest bit awkward whatsoever.
That night when I walked into Austin’s living room, it was as if time stood still.
The two of them looked at each other stunned, and then at me. I remember my hands; they are shaking so damn much that I had to force them into my pockets to get them to stop. Only mille seconds had passed, but honestly it felt more like an eternity. They stood up and looked at each other one more time before simultaneously hugging me. When the three of us embraced, it was like a huge weight was finally lifted off of my shoulders. It was as if we had never missed a beat.
So this is what it was like to feel whole again.
Not bad for somebody who had it all taken away from him.
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Christian, you and I are a lot more alike than you may care to admit.
Is that why you view me with such malice and contempt?
Is that why you needed to find me and draw me into this match?
Though I will say this.
You’re right.
You are absolutely one hundred percent correct.
I did cement my legacy in this business at the expense of my family.
It’s a decision that I regret.
But Christian I was fortunate enough to have been given a second chance.
Much like the one you were given.
What was her name Christian?
Jessica…right?
The love of your life, your sole reason for existing in this world. She was taken from you in a truly tragic manner, and that guilt, I know the guilt you felt Christian.
It gnaws at your sanity.
It consumes your conscience.
It changes you Christian.
Left unchecked, it can destroy you.
You were given another chance Christian.
You used it to change your life.
You found another woman that loves you.
Do you remember how empowered it made you feel?
Do you remember how you felt like you could change the world Christian?
You tried to tell me that my mistakes cost me everything Christian, but you were mistaken.
Just as mistaken as you were when you came to seek me out that night in the bar.
I never really understood why.
What was it about the idea of facing me one more time that caused you to seek me out so voraciously?
…
No matter. I don’t care about your answers.
I don’t care about your motivation.
All I know is this Christian.
I made a promise to those close to me that I would never again become the monster that I once was.
But when something happens, those that have the power to take action have the responsibility to take action.
You took this too far when you attacked my family Christian.
And now.
Your ass is mine..
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I know the risks of doing this.
But honestly I don’t care.
I know I am on borrowed time at the moment.
I know that at any moment the toll that I’ve put my body through over the years can catch up to me.
But I don’t care.
Each time that I step through that curtain could be my last.
But I still just don’t care.
I can’t worry about me right now.
I can’t give myself any concern at the moment.
This isn’t about me.
Hell this is bigger than me.
This is a family matter.
I am doing what any father in my position would do.
This is for you Michael.
I love you son, even though you may not see that at the moment.
You always were and will be the best thing that ever happened to me son.