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Post by Niall on Jul 29, 2013 22:33:01 GMT -5
Monday 22nd July 2013
Staples Centre, LA, USA
BEFORE THE SHOWScene opens up in the locker room of Operation Fuck Up backstage at Monday Night Raw 111. We see Bob Cena pacing back and forth from wall to wall as Crack holds the camera. Cena is wearing a black shirt which reads "I'm A Pro Wrestling Guy" with "Fuck Sports Entertainment" on the back of it, with a pair of camo shorts. As Cena paces he begins rambling on. Bob Cena:
For anybody that doesnt know, I am the youngest World Heavyweight Champion in the history of professional wrestling................But where has that gotten me? I'm no better off than I was this time last year...............Maybe they see me as a veteran, maybe they see me as a nobody...........I get it, everybody is afraid, the office is afraid, the locker room is afraid, but you see fear is a disease..........Fear makes you do some crazy, crazy things, but I'm not afraid, I see the light..........I see the future, and we wont get anywhere if we continue on this path that we are on now. ThyWWE has been poisoned, its ill, it has been calling out for help but nobody wants to step up to the plate............Except for now. I've sat and I've watched the Knights of the Roundtable take every single main eventer and they have just thrown them to the side like a piece of trash................Yeah it happened to me, more than once, I'm not ashamed to admit, its not all about how many times you can beat someone up, the true test of a mans power is how many times you can get back up and keep swinging.................The world is full of shit, people lose their jobs, get evicted from their homes for no clear reason at all, healthy good people fall sick for no reason at all, then their hospital bills pile up and they cant do anything about it because they got laid off from their job for no fucking reason..................That aint gonna happen to me, I'm not losing my job over this. Things arent supposed to be this way...........The Knights they broke the system, they broke the code, they broke the people. But now, as we near Supremacy, things are different, because there are guys who will rectify what has been done. Jacob Senn will restore honour and dignity back to the World Heavyweight Championship and I, well I will become the youngest Intercontinental Champion and Triple Crown Champion of all time...........Its all about legacy, I need this win to forever tattoo the name Bob Cena onto the brain of every fan of professional wrestling in the world...............Christian Knight may be in charge, the Knights of the Roundtable may be running riot across the company, but I am just like I have always been, the foundation of this company. I train harder, I work harder, I go harder. Nobody is better than me, yeah Joey's beat me before, on multiple occasions, but you are not better than me............The Knights of the Roundtable is just a philosophy, in the world of the Knights of the Roundtable, in Camelot, there are no consequences, they can do whatever they want and not a damn soul can do anything about it, but thats not the real world, thats not the world I live in, thats not the rules I was brought up on. ThyWWE, this Sunday at Supremacy............Reality is gonna give you a cold, hard slap on the face.Cena continues pacing the room as Crack cuts off the camera and the scene fades to darkness. LATER ON THAT NIGHTScene opens up backstage as we see Bob Cena sitting alone in the parking lot. The ambulance carrying Crack has just left the building, as Cena looks off into the distance with a blank look on his face. He is still wearing the same clothes from his contract signing, but there appears to be some blood on his hoodie from the head of Crack. A camera approaches and Cena turns towards him, as a look of anger comes across his face. Bob Cena:
What? Cant I have a moments peace?Cena walks on into the night as the camera man follows him, Cena turns towards him again. Bob Cena:
What? You really want something that bad huh? I did what you asked! I did what I was supposed to do! And know you want more? I'll give you a few words, Hell I'll give you a gospel and you're gonna listen to me. Joey I will always have a soft spot in my heart for you, because I know...........You are truly out of your fucking mind. I was going to just give you a warning, I was going to ask you not to even bother turning your sorry ass up on 28th July because if you do you will experience the worst physical pain you have experienced in your pathetic life. Even when you were in those matches against guys that were so much better, so much bigger, so much stronger than you, none of that will compare to Supremacy, I am gonna be ten steps ahead of you and you are gonna suffer a career ending embarrassment............I know what your gonna say already, its the same fucking story every time you cut a promo................"Fuck that! I'm Joey The Bastard! I'm gonna get violent! Intercontinental Title is the most prestigious thing in ThyWWE! Yeah if you dont like me bite me!" Fine Joey if you wanna go there! I will fucking go there gladly! If you wanna cut my head open and spray my blood all over Baltimore like a garden hose, fine and you still not wipe the smile off of my face and you will still not have no prayer of walking away with the Intercontinental Championship................Joey..........Be careful what you wish for..............Fans............If you have ever believed anything that I have ever said, believe me, you are not gonna wanna miss this. Joey if that is the way you want it, the Knights are going to go down in a ridiculous bloody blaze of glory..................Know what I dont even want to be the Intercontinental Champion, because if I was the Intercontinental Champion, I'd be a cowardly, punk bitch who would beat up an innocent man if I was the Intercontinental Champion. I thought that I could beat Joey The Bastard a few weeks ago with my style of wrestling, I cant back flip really well or do any of that crap, I take my opportunities, I fought Joey The Bastard on Raw 109 just like I will fight Joey The Bastard at Supremacy, just like I have fought for every meal in my entire life. And my victory at Raw 109 got stolen from me, just like a lot of meals I have had in my life has been stolen from me. But tonight, Joey The Bastard sealed his fate, Joey just signed over the keys to the castle, Joey just handed me the Intercontinental Championship on a silver platter. I dont even mind tonight that I got my ass kicked again, I dont even mind that Joey kicked me in the skull and knocked me unconscious for a few moments...............I felt alive! I love to feel alive Joey! And after this Sunday Joey you're gonna feel more alive than you have ever felt in your entire life.................But as time passes from bell to bell............You're gonna wish you were dead for every. Single. Second of it.
Cena walks off but the camera man follows him again, prompting him to turn and walk towards him with fury. Bob Cena:
I swear you guys hang around to long.........Seriously! What do you wanna get? Why do you keep watching me?! Why do you keep trying to talk to me all the time?!Cena grabs the camera and shouts down it. Bob Cena:
Why cant you just leave me alone, I'm not doing anything! I did everything you asked me to do and I didnt get shit for it so get that camera out of my face!The scene cuts to static as Cena throws the camera on to the floor. Wednesday 24th July 2013
PoT's Home, Belfast, IrelandScene opens up in the bedroom of Bob Cena in his home in Belfast, Ireland. Cena has his camera set up on a tripod in the corner of the room facing him as he stands against the white washed walls. Cena is wearing a red Liverpool FC shirt with a pair of grey Adidas Original sweats. He takes a large sigh before beginning with this episode of 'PoTV'. Bob Cena:
Talk about hunger my stomach rumbles when I'm eating,
You can hear the struggle in my voice through the speakers,
Coming from a slum that looks for Jesus,
But only see his features,
On diamond encrusted pieces,
We live, amongst a number of blood suckers and leeches,
A number of crooked policemen and dirty hookers with diseases,
Youths pushing drugs, they need money for Adidas,
Just trying to get by, man I really fucking need this,
Thats why I changed my brothers from the street shit,
Cause you're only judged by the company you keep and I see this,
Now I only associate with people who dream big,
Not only dream but turn those dreams to achievements,
I remember when it rained, and it was leaking through the ceiling,
I'd have to throw a pot on the ground right underneath it,
I was feeling colder than a freezer,
I aint ever doing that again, you know thats the reason,
I win, I never sleep, cause sleep is the cousin of death,
I'm wide awake planning shit at the foot of my bed,
Go to the booth,
Spitting tunes,
Leaving puddles of sweat,
I'm just doing what I do, I dont look for respect,
Respect looks for me cause it looks for the best,
I step in the ring every week and leave people impressed,
I'm taking the top spot, leaving other wrestlers depressed,
Before Cena came, they would fuck up the set,
Say a whack little promo and then go all out, leave the ring full of regrets,
I walk out, take a few seconds to muster my breath,
And they can see the new Shakespeare stood in the flesh,
This is for everybody who didnt give me a chance,
And now they all want a picture of me in my victory stance,
You better believe I'm achieving every mission I had,
I aint dreaming, I am foreseeing, I'm depicting a plan,
Choosing a route to persue it as I scribble the map,
All this fake ones who try to help me and Crack,
While they sharpen a blade that they can stick in my back,
Picking the scabs up that I run off the track,
I should have envisioned this shit in advance,
But fuck it, cause humans will do some crazy things if you just give them a chance,
Cause winnings what a winner does,
Never had it easy, so believe me I aint giving up,
I look to the sky, dig my heels in the dirt,
Give it blood, sweat and tears every time I go to work,
Cena started to get into the freestyle, allowing him to escape from reality and forget about his troubles. Bob Cena:
My dream tried leaving, but I chased it down,
It wont escape me now,
I've made it wow,
You see the way the game changed the round,
I told my city I'ma make it proud,
I'ma make a sound so loud,
That it shakes the ground,
Till them knights roll round with their faces down,
Tell them fucking scoundrels to take a bow,
The king graced you with his presence just to take your crown,
Wrestling royalty, I'm the heir to the throne,
Diamond in the dirt, no Sierra Leone,
No Knight could handle the King, they havent got the spirit,
You havent got a backbone, you just have a gimmick,
That aint running with us, its gotta finish,
Everybody said that it would all go pear shaped,
But now I'm standing tall like Rocky on the staircase,
A wise climber takes a map on the way up, cause failing to plan is planning to fail,
I say gravity's frail,
So I'm adding something Cena can scale,
My hunger is the wind, to my boat and my sail,
He who holds the hammer and nail,
Could never pierce the skin on my character make up,
Cause I rely on my own self, body and soul,
Determination, hard work and honesty shows,
Back then, I stretched for the moon and couldnt reach,
The whole time neglecting the beauty under my feet,
I used to strike while the irons hot, now I make it hot by striking,
I couldnt be stopped by lightening,
Preparation and execution is what my life is,
Failure aint the pen that I write with,
Say Cena three times, you'll see the demon at once,
You'll need a priest and a preacher or people who speak in tongues,
And demonologists watching closely on the frequencies I'm on,
I'm the freak above the ceiling in the loft,
I'm the feeling of unease when you feel you're being watched,
The people said there's a demon on the block,
And everybodys screaming cause of Prof,
Your fucking nightmare, torment you mentally and physically,
Never fight fair when I caught a man dissing me,
Caught his girl quickly,
Drag her out of home boys bed, its all Paranormal Activity,
I'm the reason they sleep with the lights on,
The Boogeyman? Mother fucker this is my song,
Someone stop me, did you hear that sound?
They say Cena's inside, dont go near that house,
When Cena enters the spot,
Hair stands up on your neck, room temperatures will drop,
I'm the next Lex Luther, I'm the fucking boss,
I'll eat a super hero with some Superman sauce,
Oh well superman lost,
I'm PoT, I'm dirtier than a sewer rats claws.
Peace.Cena does the U Cant C Me taunt down the camera lens as the scene cuts to static. Saturday 27th July 2013
M&T Bank Stadium, Baltimore, Maryland, USAScene opens up in the empty M&T Bank Stadium in Baltimore the night before ThyWWE Supremacy is scheduled to air. The crew have put their final touches to the ring and the stage set. The camera focuses in on the crowd, there is a person sitting in the middle of the stand, facing the tv cameras. The man is none other than Bob Cena. Cena is wearing a black shirt which reads "I'm A Pro Wrestling Guy" with a pair of red shorts on. As the camera moves in closer Cena begins to talk. Bob Cena:
My arm hurts..........My back hurts..........My leg hurts, everything hurts. I'm cut, I'm bruised, I'm scraped..............What hurts more than everything is my pride. You know in life, sometimes you run into a brick wall and I keep running into brick walls. But I live by the idea that there is no today, no yesterday, there is only tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day for me to train, another day for me to rectify my errors. Joey I cant beat you.........I keep coming this close every single time.............I get 2 and a half, 2 and nine tenths, but this close is not enough. My FU just seems to wear you down just a little bit............I cant tap you out to the ChainLock Choke because it doesnt seem to take any effect on you.............But if at first you do not succeed then you try and you try and you try again and thats all I can do.
I've listened to you go on and on about how the Knights of the Roundtable control ThyWWE and how everybody in the company deserves to play second footing to the great Knights, I've listened to you repeat it time in and time out, and you're a hell of a competitor I'll give you that..............But at Supremacy, I'm not only going to beat you, I'm not only going to take the final piece of the puzzle away from the Knights of the Roundtable. I'm going to do what you have failed to do for the past 7 months.............I'm gonna make the Intercontinental Championship interesting again. That doesnt involve granting matches to the hasbeens and to the never will be's like Troy Motor and Blade LaVigne, that involves night in and night out, week in and week out, the highest level of wrestling in the world! The knights of the Roundtable have had their time, they have had their 15 minutes of fame on the world stage with everybody watching..........But its time for the Knights of the Roundtable to hit the road and go see ya bye bye...............You know people are successful for a lot of different reasons; some guys have size, strength and power, others have speed and agility. There are great techincal wrestlers, great high flyers, great brawlers............And then there's me. What I got trumps all of that, what I got makes me the best in the world, you cant learn it and you cant teach it.........I'm a winner. When the chips are on the table, at the bottom of the ninth, Bob Cena steps up to the plate and knocks the ball out of the park. There is no puzzle that I cant solve, there are no odds I cant overcome, I go to the ring and I get it done. I always come hell or high water, I always get what I want in this world. I get the job done at any and all costs. Tomorrow in that very ring down there, I will step in between those ropes with a brutal hardcore son of a bitch, ready to take any punishment that the Intercontinental Champion is dishing out. One guy will finish runner up, it aint gonna be me, its not gonna happen, not this time.
Cena leans back on the chair putting his feet up on the chair in front of him. Bob Cena:
Monday night must have raised your spirits Joey..........Troy Motor back with the Knights of the Roundtable, like a big happy family. And I hope that you didnt get the feeling that I was shocked that you did what you did, no only a fool would have been shocked. I knew he was going to do something like that...........I played Joey like a video game and the best part is he doesnt even realise it yet. You remember the first night after Oppression? I called out Joey The Bastard and since that night the name Bob Cena has plagued our Intercontinental Champion. And then it comes to Monday Night Raw 109, I called Joey many things; softened up, a watered down version of his old self, and unfortunately Crack was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I didnt run to the aid of Crack for one reason, you gotta have a brain to survive in this world, you gotta know when and where to strike............I never backed down, I never allowed it to happen, I have talked it out with Crack because he understands that Monday Night needed to happen. It needed to happen because now I know, I know that I did it, I know that Joey The Bastard is a weak, weak individual and I can manipulate him with a snap of my fingers.
Cena sits forward, becoming more and more focused on the task at hand this Sunday. Bob Cena:
I live a very shallow existence, I live life the way it is supposed to be lived. I have nothing, I live life so I can feel alive. My idea of a good night is dragging a shard of glass across the forehead of a guy until the blood is shooting out like a sprinkler............So going out on live pay per view television fighting Joey The Bastard, good old fashioned throw the rule book out the window no disqualification Dumpster match. Pound Joey The Bastard into the ground, I could do it all day, I never get tired of violence. Its so much fun! I have come to the conclusion Joey, I am completely comfortable with you having to live the rest of your life in a wheelchair.Cena stands up from his chair staring down into the squared circle in the middle of the ring. Bob Cena:
Joey The Bastard is ready to go to war, but he has no idea what he has gotten himself into. Bob Cena v Joey the Bastard! I have a little advice for the ThyWWE Universe.................Bob Cena is taking over ThyWWE! And if you're smart..........Get out of the way...............BEST IN THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!The scene fades to darkness with the final image of the number one contender for the ThyWWE Intercontinental Championship staring down into the empty ring. Sunday 28th July 2013
M&T Bank Stadium, Baltimore, Maryland, USAScene opens up backstage before ThyWWE Supremacy has kicked off, and we are in the locker room of Operation Fuck Up. After what happened on Raw, there is just the trio of Bob Cena, Kurt Orton and AJ Orton in the room. Cena is wearing a red zipped up hoodie with the Operation Fuck Up logo on the right breast of it, with a pair of navy blue shorts. Kurt is wearing a black Operation Fuck Up shirt with his signature tights. His wife AJ is wearing the same black shirt but in vest form, with a pair of denim shorts. Cena has just finished doing his sit ups and approaches Kurt and AJ who are sitting on the black, leather sofa. Bob Cena:
You ready?Kurt doesnt say a word to Cena, he only just nods to his friend, bringing a smirk to Cena's face. Bob Cena:
Good to know. I dont mean to put any pressure on you but you gotta win tonight Kurt.Kurt nods and a reply slips out of his mouth. Kurt Orton:
I know.Bob Cena:
I gotta go out here, I got an interview scheduled with Burris Troy, if I dont see you before your match good luck lad.Kurt Orton:
Cheers mate, I appreciate it.Cena pats Kurt on the back and nods at AJ to say bye, before walking to the door and leaving the room to see ThyWWE interviewer Burris Troy standing down the hall from him. Burris is wearing a red suit with a white shirt and a red tie, with his hair parted to the left. Cena unzips his hood a tad to reveal his shirt which reads "I'm A Pro Wrestling Guy". He walks down the hallway to meet Burris who is already talking into the camera. Burris Troy:
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the ThyWWE: Supremacy pre show, we have a jam packed show for you tonight and what better way to start than with an interview with the number one contender to the Intercontinental Championship...............Bob Cena.Cena walks on to the scene as Burris immediately asks a question. Burris Troy:
Bob, tonight you have the opportunity to become the youngest Intercontinental Champion of all time and you could also become a member of the elite Triple Crown club, have these factors been motivating you ahead of your match with Joey The Bastard?Cena scratches his chin before replying to Burris quickly. Bob Cena:
No............Tonight is supposed to be about two great athletes competing for one of the most prestigious championships in the world of sport, but it wont be like that. Matter of fact I hate Joey The Bastard. About 6 weeks ago I called Joey out for the same reason I call alot of people out; I called Joey The Bastard out because his bank statement is a lot better than mine. I called Joey The Bastard out because there is an extra zero at the end of his pay check.........I dont really like being so nice to people that I feel have things that belong to me. When I walk through these hallways with the aim of getting what I deserve, it seems like the seas part, I'm like Moses, nobody wants to get within ten feet of Bob Cena.Cena stares straight into Burris before returning his haze to the camera. Bob Cena:
There is no pot of gold at the end of anybody's rainbow in this business, but everybody chases it. It doesnt matter how many championships you win, no matter who you have beaten, no matter how many people sing your praises, no matter how many empty promises you are dumb enough to believe. At the end of it you are gonna be a bitter, delusional, broken down, pathetic excuse for a star just like all of your heroes. And all of these uptight dream chasers, they are the biggest idiots who fall for it all. But there are us lucky few, the real talent, we dont fit into the system, we are not held down, we exist at the top on a higher plain. We cant be screwed with, we cant be lied to, we cant be held back, and once you realise that you are one of those people, its awesome, believe me. It took Kurt Orton a long time to realise it, until I had a word with him, and he finally got it, he finally realised who and what he was, and now we are a force to be wreckend with. Because we are not in it for gold, we are not in it for greed, we are in this for instant gratification, we are children spoiled by our own abilities. We are two sides of the same extremely talented coin and it feels great.Cena turns his head towards Burris again and smirks at him before screaming in his face. Bob Cena:
BEST IN THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ThyWWE: Supremacy pre show shows a promotional package for the main event World Heavyweight Championship match as we see Bob Cena walk of set.[/center] |
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Post by Joey The Bastard on Jul 29, 2013 23:59:01 GMT -5
A Past Life...
The Bastard sat in his cubby that he had claimed that night on Granville Street. Downtown Vancouver was buzzing this cool Saturday evening. But, that was always the case in Vancouver's entertainment district. The summer night was still young. The sun played peek-a-boo between the towering buildings and cast long shadows across the pavement. The Bastard was sitting in his cubby which was actually the exit from an old movie theater that was being renovated. He knew that door wasn't going to swing open and smack him in the back of the head any time soon. He knew these streets and it's buildings like the back of his hand. He knew the people, and he knew the best places to go to scrounge for food, or even to ask for money from tourists. On this night, he had himself some prime realistate for asking suckers for money.
The night wasn't even half over for most of these people. The clubs were just starting to fill up, and every body still had all their money. The Bastard sat there leaning up against the door with a smoke dangling from his mouth which a black man wearing cowboy boots with dreadlocks tossed his way with out even a "Here ya go, buddy!" Joey appreciated the gesture, and was a little glad that he didn't have to engage in civilized banter with the guy.
Joey watched as some young barely legal girls walked passed...
Nope, they ain't gonna give me shit, he thought and turned his attention to a business man walking passed in a hurry. This guy's gotta have something...
"Hey, dude, you think I could grab some change off ya?" The Bastard called out trying to be as friendly sounding as possible.
The business man didn't even turn his head. He just kept walking like the piece of shit douche bag that he was.
"Hey, thanks a lot, asshole!" The Bastard yelled at the back of the guy's head. It didn't really piss The Bastard off, the guy being rude like that. He was used to that sort of thing. It happened on a daily basis. He was more annoyed than anything.
A forty something woman walked passed and dropped a toonie, which is a two dollar coin in Canada, in to The Bastard's hat which he had on the pavement in front of him.
"Thanks, lady." Joey called out with a smile. The woman didn't respond, just kept walking. Even though The Bastard made two more bucks, he was still a little annoyed.
Why the fuck is every body in this town so God damn rude?
A young boy about seven years old walked passed holding his father's hand. The dad was only a few years older than The Bastard. The boy stopped and looked at Joey, intrigued. Why is he dressed like that? His jacket looks pretty cool. Whoa, look at that man's hair! All these things, Joey could read on the child's face. Joey gave the kid a cool little nod of the head and the boy tugged on his father's arm. The dad looked over to The Bastard and rolled his eyes. But they started to walk over to Joey.
"What's up, little dude?" The Bastard asked the boy.
The boy looked down and saw Joey's hat with some money in it. He looked up at his father. "Dad, can we give him some money? He looks hungry."
"That I am, kid." The Bastard said, trying to be as innocent as possible.
The dad shook his head a tiny little bit. The Bastard could tell that this guy didn't have much. It was time to rely on the goodness of a child's heart for this one.
"Don't worry about me, kid, I'll be fine." The Bastard said while he smiled at the kid and then at his father.
"Oh, come on, dad" the kid pleaded. "Just a couple bucks?"
The dad stared at his son, begging. Doing The Bastard's work for him. His dad's eyes warmed a little bit and The Bastard knew the kid had won, and more importantly, The Bastard had won, as well.
"Just a couple of bucks, buddy." The father said to his son and pulled out some change from his pocket and handed it to the boy. The eagerly walked over and dropped the change in to the hat.
"Here ya go, mister!"
"Hey, thanks a lot, little dude." The Bastard said cheerfully.
The father and son went to leave and The Bastard called out. "Hey dad..." he said, and the father turned around.
"God bless, eh." The Bastard said with such sincerity it made the father cock a little smile. "No problem." he said as the two of them disappeared in to the sea of humanity. Or lack there of...
The Bastard looked down at his hat, but he didn't grab it. He wouldn't dare count his pay load yet. Not in public. there would be plenty of time to count his stash at the liquor store later tonight. A young man wearing a vest with tassels and a peace sign on the breast approached The Bastard. he has long dirty hair and looked a little bit stoned.
Fuckin' hippies...
"Hey, dude, you want something to eat?" the hippy looking guy asked.
"You buyin'?"
"For sure!"
This should be good, Joey thought to himself as he got up and collected his stuff. The two of them walked down the streets a few blocks shooting the shit. The hippy was pretty stupid in The Bastard's eyes. Had no street smarts what so ever. But this guy probably doesn't have much money. At least he'll get a free meal out of this.
But, to The Bastard's surprise, the hippy led him to The Keg Steakhouse & Bar on Georgia Street, just off of Granville. A steakhouse? Jesus, maybe he was wrong about this guy.
The Bastard ate, and he ate well. A twenty two ounce Porthouse Steak with all the sides he could eat. The guy even bought them a bottle of wine to split. The Bastard didn't much care for wine, but hey... Free booze is free booze. The two of them got to knew each other a little better as the night went on. Joey learned that this guy goes to the Film School beside Victory Square where all the heroin addicts hang out. He learned that the guy's been going out with his girl friend for about four and a half years. Joey also learned that the guy's name was Larry... What a fuckin' stupid name, but whatever... This guy seemed cool.
But, the most important piece of info that The Bastard learned in that steakhouse was that Larry's girl friend worked over at the comedy club on Burrard and that she was getting off at 12:30 tonight. Why is this relevant? Well, Larry spent all the money he had on hand... Larry and his girl friend were going to try and get in to one of the bars as it was the last day of her work week. That means Larry was gonna need to hit up an ATM at some point...
The two of them left The Keg and shook hands. They exchanged pleasantries and said they're good byes. By now it was 11:45 and Larry had to make his way over to meet his bitch. Nice guy... Stupid as fuck, but still a nice guy...
Such a shame...
The two of them went their separate ways... For like, five seconds until The Bastard ducked behind a corner.
He started to follow Larry.
Larry's girl friend was pretty hot. How in the hell does a chick like that end up with a fuckin' hippy like Larry? The Bastard watched from a bench in the hotel park across the street from the comedy club. They walked and The bastard followed. he followed them for some time. Blocks and blocks, and The Bastard had almost given up when Larry stopped at a random ATM.
Jack pot.
"Do we still have enough money for rent?" the girl asked.
"Oh, yeah, no need to worry." Larry said soothingly. "I still have five hundred and fifty bucks."
"Awesome, babe, good job."
Larry slid his bank card in to the machine and punched in his code.
"Awesome is right!"
The two of them spun around to see The Bastard standing there.
"Joey?" Larry asked. He was confused. Of course it was Joey... Who else down here is dressed as bad ass as this guy?
"That's me!" The Bastard was smiling at them. then he pulled out a switch blade and popped the blade out. "Now take out five hundred bucks and leave it on the ground."
"What? You're kidding right?"
"Do I look like I'm fuckin' kidding?" The Bastard's demeanor changed from cheerful to violent. "Take the fucking money out now!"
"But, we're friends, man. I bought you dinner. We laughed together."
"You're not my friend you stupid son of a bitch! Take it out!"
"No way, man. All I got is five hundred!" Larry was being quite defiant while in the face of death. The Bastard was impressed. Then the bitch spoke up...
"Get the fuck out of here you dirty skid!"
"Oh, what?" The bastard said with a chuckle. He then lunged forward and slapped the chick across the face. Then he grabbed her by the hair and yanked her towards him. Larry went to help her but The Bastard put the knife up to her neck, stopping Larry in an instant.
"One more fuckin' step and this blade is goin' in deep, bro!" The Bastard lashed out with his forked tongue.
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry! What ever you want, you got it."
"The fuckin' money, you idiot!"
Larry didn't say another word. He simply turned around and took out his last five hundred bucks from the ATM.
"Put the money on the ground... Do it!" The Bastard was starting to get frantic now. Looking around and over his shoulder. His eyes were darting every which way but loose.
Larry put the money in a neat pile on the pavement and Joey shoved the girl toward Larry with so much force that it knocked the both of them down. As they fell, The Bastard reached and grabbed the cash and took off bolting down the street. He was breathing heavily, and almost giggling to himself. The adrenaline was out of this world.
He could hear Larry's girlfriend screaming behind him...
"YOU BASTARD!"
The Bastard laughed and thought to himself...
You're damn right...
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A Changed Man?
The Bastard sat in the Throne of King Beno, King of Camelot. A crowd stood in front of him in the throne room. The Bastard's right hand man, Reginald stood beside him as well as a few of the King's advisors. The Bastard stood up to address the crowd...
JTB: Now, as you all know, with Beno away on pilgrimage, I am in charge of Camelot. Now, I understand, that a few of young have some... requests to make?
The crowd was silent. The Bastard stood there in his leopard skin robe awaiting a reply. None came until a big, burly looking man stepped forward...
JTB: Ah, the big man, what can I do for you?
The Bastard sat down on the throne again and leaned back with a smirk on his face.
Man: Well, my lord, the roads down in the village are in shambles. My boy broke his leg playing the other day, and I was hoping that we could do something to improve the quality of the roads. It's dangerous to every body. We got old people, and blind people who won't see a crack or a pot hole coming...
The Bastard sat there pondering while rubbing his chin. Then he leaned forward...
JTB: What was your boy doing in the street again?
Man: He was playing, my lord...
JTB: Playling in the streets, you say? Playing! In the streets? Well, last time I checked, the street wasn't a place for a small boy, or anybody else for that matter to be playing...
Man: Yes, you're right, but...
JTB: I am right, aren't I? And old people shouldn't be in the streets either. And blind people? That's just asking for trouble, isn't it?
Man: Sire, the roads are dangerous. You must...
JTB: You don't tell me what I must or mustn't do! You hear me? It's not my fault, or the kingdom's fault that we have senile old coots running rampant though the streets. They were probably wasted anyway. You ever think of that? As for your kid... Why should the rest of the village suffer when we have to take money out of the treasury to repair perfectly good roads, when your son is too fucking stupid to look where he's going?
The man was speechless.
JTB: Well?
Man: Sire, I...
JTB: Request denied.
Man: Request denied!
The guards push the burly man out of the room as The Bastard leans back in the Throne even more.
JTB: Next!
A simple looking man comes forward.
JTB: Oh, this oughtta be good...
Simple: Heylo, milord... I'm, Gerry, I'm a... retawd... I need money for schooling... Need to learn reading and writing... I want good life...
JTB bursts out laughing. Some of the crowd look horrified. JTB eventually calms down a bit.
JTB: I'm sorry... This is a joke right? Reggie, you have something to do with this?
Reggie: I most certainly did not, Sir Bastard...
JTB:Alright, alright, fine... Gerry, is it?
Gerry nods rapidly which causes The Bastard to chuckle.
JTB: You said you want a good life, right? To learn how to read and right? Go to school, right?
Gerry keeps on nodding like a bobble head.
JTB: First of all, quit nodding your head like an idiot... It's not funny any more, and you're starting to piss me off, you're so stupid looking. And second of all, there's no point for us to pay for your schooling. Don't ever bother trying. You're too stupid, it's a waste of time... Your life will never get better than this, and, in fact, it would probably be better if you just kill yourself now and put an end to your pitiful existence. Request denied!
The crowd gasps as JTB starts to laugh again. Reggie slowly shakes his head as Gerry nods his head again and leaves.
JTB: Alright, screw this, let's get drunk, Reggie...
Reggie: Sir, there is still one more request...
An older woman approaches. She is dressed almost in rags. She is holding a baby no more than a few months old.
JTB: What is it now?
Woman: My lord! My wonderful beautiful lord! My baby! She is sick! Deathly ill... Please, help us... We have no money for hospital bills...
JTB stares at her then flashes of his little sister start to flash through his mind. A tear starts to form in the corner of his eye. He wipes it away...
JTB: Request denied...
Woman: NO! Please! I beg of you!
JTB: SHUT UP!
Reggie leans in and whispers to The Bastard...
Reggie: My lord, I must insist that you grant this one request. The people need to believe in their leader and it does not matter who that leader is at any given time... They need to feel safe. Please, Joey... Do this one.
The Bastard wanted to do it... More than anything in the world...
YOU BASTARD!
It would be easy to do it. Just say yes, that's all it would take...
YOU BASTARD!
But he couldn't do it... He wouldn't...
Because he'd rather be hated...
Had to be hated...
JTB: Request denied.
Woman: NOOOO!
The guards dragged her out of the room. JTB looked over at Reggie, and he could tell reggie was extremely disappointed. So was The Bastard, really... Reggie shook his head at The Bastard and stormed out.
JTB: EVERYBODY OUT!
The crowd quickly dispersed and The Bastard sat on the throne alone in the throne room staring at the floor...
You're damn right...
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Taking Out The Trash
The scene opens up in the backstage loading area for Supremacy live on Par-Per-View. There is a dumpster seen beside the back door. The door opens and JTB walks out carrying a box of something...
JTB: Well, here we are... Tonight's the big night. But, not for me... For Bob Cena. See, this is the night where Bob Cena nuts up, and puts his money where is mouth is and faces the biggest, the baddest bastard in the world one on one LIIIIIIVVVVVEEEE on Pay-Per-View! One of the biggest matches of this man's career. He's faced me twice already, and both times, he lost. He needs to win not only for himself, but for his legacy...
But, Bobby, this match may be special for you, but it's just another day at the office for me... I've been swatting away challenger after challenger after I won my Intercontinental Championship... Sure, we've faced off before and I won... But this is different, right, Bob? This is the big stage... the title is on the line! Surely, you can overcome the odds and finally hold a piece of gold again, can't you?
No... See, I've been a champion for damn near a year. I'm the Tag Team Champions! I'm the Intercontinental Champion! I've forgotten what it's like to NOT be a champion, but trust me... I'm sure it sucks! You would know... But, another thing that I'm sure sucks, is holding on to something that you worked so hard to gain, and then have it taken away from you in an instant... I know you know how that feels, Cena... It's been so long since gold has touched your finger tips, hasn't it? I'm never gonna know that feeling, Cena, cause I don't drop this title until I'm damn well good and ready, and this sure as hell isn't gonna be one of those passing of the torch moments.
The only way I lose this thing, is if I do just that... LOSE! You have to beat me for it, cause I don't lay down... Some guys wanna put other guys over because they feel like they've done their part for the title and the other guy deserves it or some shit like that... Not me! It's all about The bastard, baby! The Golden Bastard! The Golden Warrior! And you know what, Cena... If you could actually beat me in a match, then I'd be happy to hand this title over to you and hold your hand high... But, Bob... I don't think you have it in you...
Now, let's take a look in to my little bag of tricks, shall we?
The Bastard bends down and dumps the box of junk on to the ground. The box's contents were none other than various pieces of POT merch. The Bastard grabs a poster and holds it up...
JTB: Look at this! People actually buy this crap? I understand that a lot of fans hate this guy, and so they should, but still... they used to buy this crap like a junkie buying chocolate bars between fixes. This crap belongs in the trash!
The Bastard rips the poster in half and tosses it in the dumpster. Then he picks up a POT "Best in the World, Operation Fuck Up" shirt.
JTB: Bad taste, there's no doubt about that... This isn't fuckin' nineteen ninety nine, Cena... You look like a complete jackass! Wrist bands, head bands, it's a joke, and you actually think it looks good? Get this shit outta my face.
Joey tosses the shirt in the trash then grabs Cena's newest shirt. The "I'm a Pro Wrestling Guy" shirt he debuted last week.
JTB: Aren't we all, Bobby? Aren't we all...
JTB stares at the shirt then proceeds to wipe it all over his ass and throw it in the dumpster. JTB then pulls out a record.
JTB: Well, look at this... It's the Professor's rap album! Trust me, anybody we hasn't heard this yet... Don't bother. the guy has no style, he's got no flow, no rhythm, no talent, no nothin'! And for those who have heard it... I don't apologize for much, but I'm really sorry you had to hear this piece of garbage...
JTB takes the albu out of the sleeve, snaps it in half then throws it in the dumpster.
JTB: Cena, stick to what you do best... Beating of jabronis and losing to Joey the Bastard on a nightly basis in front of the world. In fact, screw all this garbage...
JTB shoves all the merch in the box and throws the whole box in to the dumpster. But, he holds on to a hat...
JTB: But, this... This... Is something special... they pulled this out of the dumpster last week on Raw... Crack's hat... Pretty ballin' lookin' hat, for sure, but it's what this hat represents that makes it special... The bond of friendship between Cena and Crack... I bet you bought Crack this hat, didn't you? Well, for the first time, your little buddy isn't gonna be at your side... He won't be there to cheer you on, or try to screw me over...
See, sure it was funny taking Crack out, and I'm sure you were right pissed off about it, too... But he was a threat... He needed to be dealt with... Unlike you, I don't have my friends fight my battles for me... When I mentioned taking out Crack, the other Knight's jumped at the opportunity because he's a fucking loser... A loser like you! And after I slam that dumpster door down and seal you inside your dark cell... For the first time ever... You're gonna feel what it's like to lose... Alone!
Nobody to pat you on the back... Nobody to give you any words of encouragement... Only you inside that dumpster where you belong alone with your thoughts of self doubt... Of self loathing! NOW YOU'LL KNOW HOW I FELT MY ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE!
That's why this is personal! That's why I made this personal! You have friends, you have people who love you, and yeah, sure, I'm a little bit jealous, I'll admit that... But, they way you two parade around the back like school yard chums fuckin' sickens me, and THAT is why I took out your best friend... And THAT is why I'm gonna take you out, too, Bob Cena... The Professor of Thuganomics... The wickity-wickity wild wild mutha fuckin' Pee to the Oh to the Tee playa fo real! So, you see this hat? Fuck it!
The Bastard throws the hat in the dumpster then disappears behind it. We can still hear him talking...
JTB: Fuck it all!
The Bastard emerges with a cas can. he starts to dump the gas inside the dumpster. Then he strikes a match and tosses it in. The dumpster lights up in flames. The camera closes in The Bastard's eyes. We see the reflection of the flames in his eyes...
JTB: Burn, baby... Burn...
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