Post by kufi on Mar 4, 2010 20:58:50 GMT -5
The camera is set backstage. All of a sudden, Rey Mysterio, in his usual waxed to perfection white limousine, comes up through the gate. However, in the bright green letters where is name is usually at, there is a brown smudge of mud.
Rey Mysterio: OH. MY. GOD. Do you really suck that much at driving, Jack? I pay you good money EVERY week for you. And how do you react to that? You give me that ugly smudge? Well guess what? You are one of those MILLIONS of unemployed people.
Jack The Limo Driver: Oh I am oh so sorry Master Mystery. It can be fixed. But please, oh please I beg of you master. Just don't fire me! I know you are oh so perfect, which is why I baked you these big and chewy chocolate chip cookies!
Rey Mystery: AHA! Now I see what you are trying to do! You are trying to KILL me! You KNOW i am allergic to chocolate! And then you try to soften me up with those compliments, just in case the cookie trick didn't work! I can't believe you Jack! YOU'RE FIRED!
Jack sulks off, crying over the fact that he got fired, runs away.
Rey Mystery: There, now that i got rid of that screw job of a driver, I can drive with out the risk of getting in a car crash. That good-for-nothing son of a bitch! But still, Jack is WAY better then that scum of an audience. And why do they boo ME!? I am the worlds greatest, the best of Raw, the face of all Thy WEE! I am Rey Mystery!
Rey Mystery, Walking to the nearest Wall-mart, because he knows where that is the way to find people with drivers licenses' who think a penny a week is a high-paying job. He then comes across a fat man, wearing a torn plaid shirt, begging for fake coins. THATS how poor the man is.
Poor Man: Hello kind masked sir. Could you please spare at least a fake coin? I have no money, you see. And because I suck so much, the HSA, The Homeless Shelter of America, has kicked me out because I was not good enough to get a job in the future. However, I do have this drivers license.
Rey Mysterio: Oh, I have no bad feelings for you. Wanna know why? Because I am better then everybody else, and because of that, I think it is fun to poke fun out of the people less then me. Or, in other words, EVERYBODY! Because on Monday Night Raw, I will win the battle royal, and then I will become your new Intercontinental Champion! And then, later after that, Jeff Hardy and I will become the World Tag Team Champions!
Poor Man: OH MY GOSH! I never new you were the legendary Rey Mysterio! Oh my gosh, I am not worthy of you, Mr.Mysterio. What ever could you want with a homeless person like me? You are so right Rey Mysterio. You are better than me.
Rey Mysterio: Finally, somebody who actually realizes the truth! You really realize that I am better then everybody. Say, how would you like to be my new chauffeur? Get you away from this awful Wall-Mart. Now, after your astounding pay of a penny a week, you can soon buy your things from Giant!
Poor Man: Oh, thank you so much for hiring me. I am so grateful, Mr.Mysterio. I will drive you wherever you want. Oh, and by the way, my name is Jake.
Rey Mysterio chooses where he wants to go, Jake drives him there, and Rey Mysterio gets so happy with him he decides to not fire him for the rest of the month.
Rey Mysterio: OH. MY. GOD. Do you really suck that much at driving, Jack? I pay you good money EVERY week for you. And how do you react to that? You give me that ugly smudge? Well guess what? You are one of those MILLIONS of unemployed people.
Jack The Limo Driver: Oh I am oh so sorry Master Mystery. It can be fixed. But please, oh please I beg of you master. Just don't fire me! I know you are oh so perfect, which is why I baked you these big and chewy chocolate chip cookies!
Rey Mystery: AHA! Now I see what you are trying to do! You are trying to KILL me! You KNOW i am allergic to chocolate! And then you try to soften me up with those compliments, just in case the cookie trick didn't work! I can't believe you Jack! YOU'RE FIRED!
Jack sulks off, crying over the fact that he got fired, runs away.
Rey Mystery: There, now that i got rid of that screw job of a driver, I can drive with out the risk of getting in a car crash. That good-for-nothing son of a bitch! But still, Jack is WAY better then that scum of an audience. And why do they boo ME!? I am the worlds greatest, the best of Raw, the face of all Thy WEE! I am Rey Mystery!
Rey Mystery, Walking to the nearest Wall-mart, because he knows where that is the way to find people with drivers licenses' who think a penny a week is a high-paying job. He then comes across a fat man, wearing a torn plaid shirt, begging for fake coins. THATS how poor the man is.
Poor Man: Hello kind masked sir. Could you please spare at least a fake coin? I have no money, you see. And because I suck so much, the HSA, The Homeless Shelter of America, has kicked me out because I was not good enough to get a job in the future. However, I do have this drivers license.
Rey Mysterio: Oh, I have no bad feelings for you. Wanna know why? Because I am better then everybody else, and because of that, I think it is fun to poke fun out of the people less then me. Or, in other words, EVERYBODY! Because on Monday Night Raw, I will win the battle royal, and then I will become your new Intercontinental Champion! And then, later after that, Jeff Hardy and I will become the World Tag Team Champions!
Poor Man: OH MY GOSH! I never new you were the legendary Rey Mysterio! Oh my gosh, I am not worthy of you, Mr.Mysterio. What ever could you want with a homeless person like me? You are so right Rey Mysterio. You are better than me.
Rey Mysterio: Finally, somebody who actually realizes the truth! You really realize that I am better then everybody. Say, how would you like to be my new chauffeur? Get you away from this awful Wall-Mart. Now, after your astounding pay of a penny a week, you can soon buy your things from Giant!
Poor Man: Oh, thank you so much for hiring me. I am so grateful, Mr.Mysterio. I will drive you wherever you want. Oh, and by the way, my name is Jake.
Rey Mysterio chooses where he wants to go, Jake drives him there, and Rey Mysterio gets so happy with him he decides to not fire him for the rest of the month.
