Post by Dominic Reynolds on Dec 19, 2011 20:16:57 GMT -5
MONDAY NIGHT RAW
After the Thy WWE introductory graphic plays, our camera feed opens ringside to see General Manager Starr sitting in the ring staring at a mannequin fitted in the attire similar to Caitlin Callihan, porcelain mask and all. We can see a microphone in General Manager Starr’s hand; he lifts it to his mouth and starts to speak slowly.
General Manager Starr: You haunt my dreams, you haunt every waking thought I have Caitlin. Why do you have the effect on me that you do Caitlin? Why can’t I just let this go? Do you think I like obsessing over you and our trivial history Caitlin? Don’t you think I know how asinine it is to pursue you so ferociously Caitlin? I have tried and tried to put this to rest Caitlin, but you continue to hide from me. Do you know how infuriating that is Caitlin?
We see General Manager Starr grab the mannequin and start to shake it.
General Manager Starr: Do you Caitlin! Do you!
The porcelain mask falls off the mannequin and lands on the mat. We then see General Manager Starr bring a foot down and crush the porcelain mask. Dropping down and bringing his face right above the now dust which was the mask, we see General Manager Starr’s head turn slightly to the side as he continues.
General Manager Starr: Conventional approaches apparently haven’t worked Caitlin; perhaps I am going to need to take extreme measures to get what I want.
A familiar music kicks on over the speakers and we see Christian Knight walk out onto the ramp slowly as the fans in the arena start to boo. In the ring we see General Manager Starr stand up and have a perplexed look on his face as Christian walks and get inside of the ring, after asking for a microphone from the ringside crew, we see Christian wait for a moment as General Manager Starr addresses him.
General Manager Starr: May I help you?
Christian Knight: May you help me! May you help me! I’ll tell you how you can help me Austin. Since old man Walker continues to sit and home and milk his injuries from Wrestlemania, I want you to sign the match and make it official for Anarchy. Make Christian Knight vs. Kenneth Walker, and make it happen right now.
General Manager Starr: I don’t normally care too much for being interrupted Christian, but I’ve actually been meaning to talk to you. I’ve been watching you, come out to this ring time and time again and preach to the fans about your own melodramatic vision of what this promotion should be and how this promotion should be wrong. There’s one problem though Christian, for as much talk as I hear from you, you’re unable to back it up in the ring come match time. All of the potential you possess seems to be wasted Christian, because you simply would rather look for a shortcut instead of actually earning something.
Christian Knight: You’ve got a lot of nerve talking to me about working for something Austin, when you’ve got glory hounds like you, like old man Walker, like that Irish clown Sheamus hogging all the spotlight, selfishly keeping it for themselves while guys like me continue to struggle and have to do whatever we can just to get scraps.
General Manager Starr: You still don’t get it Christian. Do you know what it’s like to get beaten within an inch of your life in this ring? Do you know what it’s like to be a bloody, sweaty mess but still be able to dig down deep, to find that last ounce of energy to pull out the win? Do you know what it’s like Christian, to leave a little bit of yourself in this ring every single night? Turning your back on friends, on family, fully devoting yourself to your craft, becoming one with this business; do you know what any of that is like Christian? No, of course you don’t. Christian, you’re nothing more than another fly by night, flavor of the week bum with a sense of entitlement that he doesn’t deserve.
Christian Knight: At lea-
General Manager Starr: There aren’t too many times Christian, when Kenneth and I are on the same page. But this time is different, Christian you possess the gifts, the talent, the athletic ability to be something great in this business; but until you start putting forth an effort, you will never amount to anything her-
Christian Knight: Shut up! Shut your mouth right now! I am better than you, I am better than Shameus, Undertaker; old man Walker, all of them. If you stop protecting him and make the match happen at Anarchy I can show you, I can show the entire world.
General Manager Starr: Who are you trying to tell this to Christian? Are you trying to convince me, or are you trying to convince yourself?
We can see Christian’s eyes narrow as Austin continues.
General Manager Starr: Does the truth sting Christian? Do my words upset you? I bet you want to hit me don’t you Christian? Let me turn my back to you, to make it easy, since after all that is the matter you are accustomed to. Do what you think you have to do Christian, but before that, know this. Know that whatever you do right now, it will not change the fact that Kenneth always is, and always will be not just a better wrestler than you, but a better man all around.
General Manager Starr drops the microphone and turns his back towards Christian Knight. Closing his eyes, almost like he is expecting the attack, we see Christian pounce as he clubs Austin with a forearm. Austin drops face forward and lies still as Knight just goes ballistic, raining down blows. Turning Austin over on his back, we see Christian start to punch Austin in the head again and again and again. Referees and arena staff pour from the back and in the ring to pull Knight off of Austin, they finally pull Christian off and it only takes Austin, now apparently bleeding from the head and mouth, a moment to stand up and look at Christian. Baffling everybody, we see Austin motion for them to let Christian go.
General Manager Starr: I’m still standing Christian, come on, finish the job. Show everyone how tough you are. Let him go!
Christian shakes himself free and charges towards Austin, dropping him to the mat with a stiff running lariat and continuing the assault once more. Taking initiative, the staff and referees pull Christian off Austin once more and pull him from the ring, listening to him scream the entire time on how he is better than Kenneth and how he is tired of not getting what is rightfully his. In the ring we can see General Manager Starr pull himself up to his feet and try to leave under his own power, but he ends up falling back down. Once Christian disappears behind the curtain, trainers come out and check on Austin as the show goes to a commercial break.
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We come back from the break to see KO and Creed in one corner, discussion their game plan, while Angellus awaits their partner. King Mandingo's music hits, and we see Swagalicious dressed in a Santa outfit, dancing to the music, but nobody is seen coming down the ramp.
Don Chuckles: Well Santa Swag sure is having a good time
Phil Latio: Well, at least we have something to watch while for wait for Angellus' partner, King Mandingo to appear
Swag continues to dance like there is no tomorrow, but decides he has waited long enough. He rolls his shoulder as he motions to the time table with a flourish of his arm, and the bell is rung
DING DING DING!!
[/b]After the Thy WWE introductory graphic plays, our camera feed opens ringside to see General Manager Starr sitting in the ring staring at a mannequin fitted in the attire similar to Caitlin Callihan, porcelain mask and all. We can see a microphone in General Manager Starr’s hand; he lifts it to his mouth and starts to speak slowly.
General Manager Starr: You haunt my dreams, you haunt every waking thought I have Caitlin. Why do you have the effect on me that you do Caitlin? Why can’t I just let this go? Do you think I like obsessing over you and our trivial history Caitlin? Don’t you think I know how asinine it is to pursue you so ferociously Caitlin? I have tried and tried to put this to rest Caitlin, but you continue to hide from me. Do you know how infuriating that is Caitlin?
We see General Manager Starr grab the mannequin and start to shake it.
General Manager Starr: Do you Caitlin! Do you!
The porcelain mask falls off the mannequin and lands on the mat. We then see General Manager Starr bring a foot down and crush the porcelain mask. Dropping down and bringing his face right above the now dust which was the mask, we see General Manager Starr’s head turn slightly to the side as he continues.
General Manager Starr: Conventional approaches apparently haven’t worked Caitlin; perhaps I am going to need to take extreme measures to get what I want.
A familiar music kicks on over the speakers and we see Christian Knight walk out onto the ramp slowly as the fans in the arena start to boo. In the ring we see General Manager Starr stand up and have a perplexed look on his face as Christian walks and get inside of the ring, after asking for a microphone from the ringside crew, we see Christian wait for a moment as General Manager Starr addresses him.
General Manager Starr: May I help you?
Christian Knight: May you help me! May you help me! I’ll tell you how you can help me Austin. Since old man Walker continues to sit and home and milk his injuries from Wrestlemania, I want you to sign the match and make it official for Anarchy. Make Christian Knight vs. Kenneth Walker, and make it happen right now.
General Manager Starr: I don’t normally care too much for being interrupted Christian, but I’ve actually been meaning to talk to you. I’ve been watching you, come out to this ring time and time again and preach to the fans about your own melodramatic vision of what this promotion should be and how this promotion should be wrong. There’s one problem though Christian, for as much talk as I hear from you, you’re unable to back it up in the ring come match time. All of the potential you possess seems to be wasted Christian, because you simply would rather look for a shortcut instead of actually earning something.
Christian Knight: You’ve got a lot of nerve talking to me about working for something Austin, when you’ve got glory hounds like you, like old man Walker, like that Irish clown Sheamus hogging all the spotlight, selfishly keeping it for themselves while guys like me continue to struggle and have to do whatever we can just to get scraps.
General Manager Starr: You still don’t get it Christian. Do you know what it’s like to get beaten within an inch of your life in this ring? Do you know what it’s like to be a bloody, sweaty mess but still be able to dig down deep, to find that last ounce of energy to pull out the win? Do you know what it’s like Christian, to leave a little bit of yourself in this ring every single night? Turning your back on friends, on family, fully devoting yourself to your craft, becoming one with this business; do you know what any of that is like Christian? No, of course you don’t. Christian, you’re nothing more than another fly by night, flavor of the week bum with a sense of entitlement that he doesn’t deserve.
Christian Knight: At lea-
General Manager Starr: There aren’t too many times Christian, when Kenneth and I are on the same page. But this time is different, Christian you possess the gifts, the talent, the athletic ability to be something great in this business; but until you start putting forth an effort, you will never amount to anything her-
Christian Knight: Shut up! Shut your mouth right now! I am better than you, I am better than Shameus, Undertaker; old man Walker, all of them. If you stop protecting him and make the match happen at Anarchy I can show you, I can show the entire world.
General Manager Starr: Who are you trying to tell this to Christian? Are you trying to convince me, or are you trying to convince yourself?
We can see Christian’s eyes narrow as Austin continues.
General Manager Starr: Does the truth sting Christian? Do my words upset you? I bet you want to hit me don’t you Christian? Let me turn my back to you, to make it easy, since after all that is the matter you are accustomed to. Do what you think you have to do Christian, but before that, know this. Know that whatever you do right now, it will not change the fact that Kenneth always is, and always will be not just a better wrestler than you, but a better man all around.
General Manager Starr drops the microphone and turns his back towards Christian Knight. Closing his eyes, almost like he is expecting the attack, we see Christian pounce as he clubs Austin with a forearm. Austin drops face forward and lies still as Knight just goes ballistic, raining down blows. Turning Austin over on his back, we see Christian start to punch Austin in the head again and again and again. Referees and arena staff pour from the back and in the ring to pull Knight off of Austin, they finally pull Christian off and it only takes Austin, now apparently bleeding from the head and mouth, a moment to stand up and look at Christian. Baffling everybody, we see Austin motion for them to let Christian go.
General Manager Starr: I’m still standing Christian, come on, finish the job. Show everyone how tough you are. Let him go!
Christian shakes himself free and charges towards Austin, dropping him to the mat with a stiff running lariat and continuing the assault once more. Taking initiative, the staff and referees pull Christian off Austin once more and pull him from the ring, listening to him scream the entire time on how he is better than Kenneth and how he is tired of not getting what is rightfully his. In the ring we can see General Manager Starr pull himself up to his feet and try to leave under his own power, but he ends up falling back down. Once Christian disappears behind the curtain, trainers come out and check on Austin as the show goes to a commercial break.
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We come back from the break to see KO and Creed in one corner, discussion their game plan, while Angellus awaits their partner. King Mandingo's music hits, and we see Swagalicious dressed in a Santa outfit, dancing to the music, but nobody is seen coming down the ramp.
Don Chuckles: Well Santa Swag sure is having a good time
Phil Latio: Well, at least we have something to watch while for wait for Angellus' partner, King Mandingo to appear
Swag continues to dance like there is no tomorrow, but decides he has waited long enough. He rolls his shoulder as he motions to the time table with a flourish of his arm, and the bell is rung
DING DING DING!!
The monstrous Angellus shrugs, and KO starts off the match. Angellus runs straight forward and right through KO with a hard shoulder block. He picks up KO and irish whips him to the rope. KO comes off the rebound as Angellus lifts a boot into the air, but KO ducks, and hits a dropkick. He goes over and tags in Jamine Creed. Creed approaches Angellus as he begins to rise, and starts hammering him with rights and lefts. He takes a step back, and Angellus charges, onto to get taken down with a toe drop hold. Jamine Creed quickly slips his body to the front and locks in a front face lock. Angellus works his way to his feet, and lifts Creed up into the air with the face lock still in place, and falls backwards, crushing the air out of his lungs.
KO jumps into the ring as Angellus begins a pin fall attempt, and breaks it up. Angellus grabs KO and tosses him to the turnbuckle, charges, and hits a running spear into the corner. He turns as Creed begins to rise, runs forward and hits a huge boot to the face. The camera pans and Santa Swag is not in the ring. He has taken out a big bag of presents, handing things out to the crowd. He shouts out HO HO HO, and one has to wonder if he is being jolly or referring to the women in the audience.
Don Chuckles: Shouldn't he be focusing on the match?
Phil Latio: Don't be such a Scrooge, he is in the spirit of the holiday!
Santa Swag continues to hand out buckets of chicken, gift certificates to Popeyes, and even hands a child a pair of brass knuckles. The match at this point has degenerated until a wild brawl as the monstrous Angellus pounds away at his competitors. Jamine Creed yells out something to KO, as if giving an order for them to perform some sort of strategy. KO gives him a nod as he gets punched in the gut. Angellus turns around to get a spinning wheel kick to the face, and he falls backwards. KO catches him, and hits a reverse Twist of Fate on Angellus. Creed picks the man up, and hits Caesar's Last Wish, with KO spiking Angellus down in the fall away brain buster for extra force. Creed makes the cover, as KO gets Santa Swag's attention and motions him to the ring. Swag gets into the ring, eating a drumstick of chicken with one hand, and hits the mat with the other.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
DING DING DING!!
Ring Announcer: Here are your winners, Jamine "Paxus" Creed, and KO!
Don Chuckles: A rather interesting match
Phil Latio: I'll say....
Creed's music begins to hit as the victors have their arms raised into the air. All of a sudden, KO and Santa Swag begin to fist pump in the air to the rhythm of the music. Creed looks at them and shakes his head, leaving the ring and the bizarre scene as we head to a commercial break.
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Match 2: Professor Xavier Oden vs. Mr. Swag-A-Licious
(Homeless Elf Lumberjack Match)
The scene comes back from commercial and we see Mr. Swag-A-Licious with a bucket of water in the ring with a bar of soap by its side and we see Professor Oden looking back at Swag with curiousity and the match begins as the dirty homeless elves begin to circle the ring dancing joyously as they sip from their brown paper bags.
Swag jokes left, then right, he weaves in and out as Oden tries for a clothesline but misses and Swag dodges and uppercuts him in the jaw. Oden stumbles backward. Swag then kicks him in the balls and scoops him up and power slams him to the mat. Swag then starts mud stomping him. Swag then tosses him to the outside and then the homeless elves start pummeling him with punch after punch after punch, they then dig into his pockets and steal his wallet which has all but four hundred bucks they divide amongst each other to ensure they all get Big Macs and drugs… they toss him into the ring… Swag then gathers him up and uppercuts him in the balls…then gathers him up and brings him for towards the turnbuckle he climbs the turnbuckle and goes towards the top and then he holds onto Oden’s neck and jumps off the rope spinning his body and doing an airborne DDT planting his head to the hard canvas. He then applies a chokehold on Oden and Oden starts gasping for air not being able to breathe he drags himself to the ropes but Swag applies more pressure as Oden goes limp as sure indicator the he has passed out. Swag motions for his dirty Elves to get a microphone which he then grabs.
Mr.Swag-A-Licious: Son you a nasty nigga, you know why I brought a bar of soap, and some water, Igot some shampoo too nigga.. now I’ma wash your nasty ass… come here …
Swaggrabs the bucket of water and splashes it on Oden, Swag then empties the entire bottle of shampoo on him and takes the bar of soap and starts scrubbing Oden’s body…and dousing him with more water.. he then goes turns the unconscious Oden over and the rolls him up for the pin…and the referee begins to count….1……2…….3…
Winner: Mr. Swag-A-Licious
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Match 3: Drew McIntyre vs. Mentally Ill
(Rashanda’s Turkey Leg on a Pole)
As our show comes back from a commercial break we can see Ill in the ring and the absurdly large she beast Rashanda beached on the outside of the ring. Looking a lot like Jabba The Hut from the Star Wars movies seems to have done a lot for Rashanda’s notoriety as the fans are showing signs around ringside professing their love for her. In the ring the official is asking for her turkey leg and she initially doesn’t want to give it up, but Ill is able to persuade her by rolling to the outside of the ring and scratching her behind the ear. Rolling back into the ring, Ill hands the turkey leg to the official who ties it to a rope and motions for it to be lifted up. The music of Drew McIntyre then comes on and we see the Intercontinental Champion walk out with a look of sheer disgust on his face as Jim Cornette is by his side. Walking down and getting inside the ring, we see Drew hand his title to the referee and raises his arms in the air as the crowd boos. Meanwhile we see Rashanda slowly shuffle over towards Jim Cornette with a hungry look in her eyes.
Don Chuckles: Drew McIntyre has been virtually unopposed here in Thy WWE since his debut, instead of competition he gets a match this week with Mentally Ill?
Phil Latio: This should be entertaining.
Julian Chichy: Are you being sarcastic? This is a sham man! A man such as Drew McIntyre deserves better than this.
We see Ill take off his stained yellow wifebeater and blow his nose into it before motioning to the referee that he is ready. Drew looks like he is about to vomit as the referee steps back and orders the bell to be rung to start this match. Immediately we see Ill make a beeline over to the pole where the turkey leg is suspended and start to climb it. But rather than climbing, we see Ill add dramatic effect and make his climb up slowly. Um….yeah? Drew seems just as perplexed as we all are as he walks over and smacks Ills head into the pole before pulling him off and flinging him back first onto the mat. Ill screams and hold his back as he gets up and pushes Drew. Drew takes a step forward, but Ill puts a hand up. Pointing to Rashanda and smiling we see Ill smile.
Mentally Ill: CAPTAIN PLANET…….NUMBER SEVEN!!!!!!!!!
After the odd proclamation, we see Ill start moving to an invisible rhythm before he starts to sing a song.
Mentally Ill: Captain Planet, I’m your hero,
Gonna take the pollution down to zero,
He's our powers magnified,
And he's fighting on the planet side.
Drew then loses all patience as he kicks Ill square in the jaw. Picking Ill back up, we see Drew toss him roughly into the corner back first. The momentum causes Ill to bounce back out of the corner and Drew kicks him once more. On the outside of the ring we can now see Rashanda, standing tall behind Jim Cornette breathing heavily and licking her lips while staring down at his receding hair line. We see Jim Cornette start to look around and his eyes get big as Drew asks him if everything he is okay. After seeing Jim nod, Drew gets shocked as Ill catches him in a roll up--1…2…NO! Drew rolls away and as Ill gets up he gets plowed by Drew with a clothesline. Things now take an even further turn for the odd side as Rashanda starts to stroke Jim Cornette’s head and licks his face.
Don Chuckles: Um…wake me when this is over?
Rashanda then wraps her arms Jim Cornette and lifts him up, he immediately howls for help and Drew rolls to the outside of the ring. Rashanda then lets out a gurgle that sounds like a Wookie noise which causes Ill to immediately spring to his feet and scale the pole. Ill unties the turkey leg and drops back down as Rashanda starts to nibble on Jim Cornette. Drew then steps up and frees him as Rashanda shuffles back slowly. Checking to see that Jim is okay, we see Drew roll back into the ring and charge at all. But Ill gets in his home run stance and swings hard with the turkey leg, connecting with Drew’s forehead and dropping him to the mat instantly. Eyes bulging out of his head, we see Ill drop down and hook the leg.
Phil Latio: Is this clown going to pull it off?
The referee gets into position and makes the count, the fans are cheering as the count goes—1…2…NO! Ill stands up and measures for another swing, Drew gets up and as Ill tees off, he misses this time and gets kicked hard and low. Drew then cinches Ill into position and spikes him into the mat with the Future Shock DDT. Turning Ill over, we see Drew cover and the official makes the academic three count—1…2…3!
Winner: Drew McIntyre in 5:50
Quickly getting his Intercontinental Title back from the official, we see Drew and Jim Cornette walk up the ramp and go behind the curtain as the show goes to a commercial break.
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Returning from the commercial break, we can see Burris Troy standing with Drew McIntyre and Jim Cornette in the backstage area.
Burris Troy: Drew, another dominate win tonight. What do you have to say about that?
Jim Cornette: I’ll tell you what we have to say about that Burris. The fact that Drew continues to run unopposed week in and week out is not only an insult to us, but it also goes to show how lacking the talent pool here is in Thy WWE. Take notice Vince McMahon and General Manager Starr, how many more bodies do you want on your watch before you do something about this.
Drew tells Jim to step back and calm down.
Drew McIntyre: Aye! I am tired of not having competition here in this company. I am the Intercontinental Champion of the World and instead of getting real opposition; I face clowns like Mentally Ill. Simply put I am dema-
In the background we see a port-a-potty door open and a figure emerges armed with a weapon. Sneaking up, Drew gets struck from behind and falls to the ground. It’s Dominic Reynolds! Holy hell, last week we seen General Manager Starr rip Reynolds for failing to make an impact while he was a contracted member of the roster and it looks like now that he is unemployed, that he is finally taking the chance to get noticed. Jim Cornette tries to step up to Reynolds, but he gets grabbed from behind and clocked in the face with a right hand from Pops Reynolds. Meanwhile, Reynolds clubs Drew twice with what we can now see is a toilet seat. The strikes bring Drew to a knee, and we see Reynolds place the seat over Drew’s head and toss him hard into a nearby steel door. Drew staggers backwards and gets struck two more times in the stomach and head with the seat before Reynolds taps into his boxing history and fires off a lightning quick barrage of punches, two to the body and three to the head which drop Drew McIntyre to the ground. Dropping to the ground, we see Reynolds cover Drew McIntyre and a referee comes out amidst the chaos and makes a count—1…2…3 What the hell just happened? Reynolds stands up and the official raises his arm in the air as Reynolds walks away grinning. Seeing the Intercontinental Title lying on the ground and a camera man standing nearby, we see Reynolds pick it up and stare defiantly into the camera.
Dominic Reynolds: How about now Austin! Is this enough of an impact for ya? Huh!
As arena security swarm the scene, we see Reynolds sling the Intercontinental Title over his shoulders and slap it twice before he and Pops escape out a nearby door. Back at ringside, we can see the announcers looking just as shocked as the audience.
Don Chuckles: Um…do we have a new Intercontinental Champion?
Phil Latio: No you idiot, what we just saw was a robbery being committed on live television. That crook and big baby Reynolds attacked Drew from behind and stole his title.
Julian Chichy: I hope Drew sues this place.
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Sir Luscious Leftfoot vs POTof Bakes Beans
Best 2 out of 3 Falls Contest: Dance off, Rap Battle, & Wrestling Match
Luscious Leftfoot music hitsand when he hits the stage he has a microphone
Sir Luscious Leftfoot: Ohhh it’s that big dick swingingoogie boogie machine… I’m shut down this clown and this is no ordinary DanceOff… ohhh… This is a Pants Off Dance Off is where we about to dance with our pants off, literally, in abattle of nerves, stamina and..ohhh no pants no can you digs that. No jokeladies and gentleman. You may wonder where’s I get my number one idea from.Well this came from my brotha from another motha Phum Pham and this crazy niggatold me that you did this gig for a television series… roll the tape to showthis Pot of Baked beans what we be doing out here ya digs.
Lucious Leftfoot rolls some footageon the titantron for the audience to watch
Sir Luscious Leftfoot: Ohhnow isn’t that some of the nastness shit you have ever seen, nasty niggagetting his homosexual tendencies on.. let get it on though send that fool Potof beans out here
The music hits and out comesP.O.T. and he comes running to the ring and taunts the crowd and looks at thecrowd in all seriousness.
Sir Lucious Leftfoot: Let’sget this thing on…. You first P.O.T.
P.O.T thrusts his pants andshirt off sporting some brief boxers and starts foot steping to the left and to the right and he throws hispants to the crowd which a guy in red hair catches screaming O.M.G. He does some pelvic thrust and we can seesome women in the crowd violently vomiting. He turns around to the crowd andstarts thrusting his junk to the crowd again and we see some grown men startclawing at their own eye sockets, P.O.T then jokes to the left and then to theright and does a full twirling spin and pelvic thrusts the crowd only to hearsome kids cry in response.
P.O.T then looks at SirLuscious Leftfoot and then hands him the mic and beckons for him to bring iton.
Sir Lucious Leftfoot:Hahahahahahahahahaha… you’s a sorry ass nigga… hahaha…. Come on son, did youthink I was going to take my pants off get reals …. Nasty nigga… seriously… Imean seriously? Lol… this nigga feel for this shit.. I just wanted to see ifyou actually would do this, White people crazy ya’ll… …You win that handsdown.. 10 out of 10 for gayness… but I’mwin both these next one’s ya digs… let’s go let’s commence the ….. Rap Battle Contest.
Sir Lucious Leftfoot:
Now son.. digs… I’m wipe your ass… like yo momma shoulda…
Beat me in this rap battle your gonna wish you coulda…
Son…listen after battle beating you, you’ll say that I will
White boy with no pants, looking like a strippa now take this dollarbill
Knock you out with just five lines.. son.. ya know that I’m for real…
Now kick kick kick it up I split you in three;
Leave ya body dis connected like nitendo wii
I'm aiming ratchets;
To burn this fruit so he can be a flaming faggot This gay nigga gostraight to the hole; like hes making baskets
Sir Lucious Leftfoot then hands out the Microphone to P.O.T.which takethe microphone from him.
P.O.T.: Looks like you were struggling their in the beginning their,why you sweating over there you should be no DJ kick that beat.
P.O.T. starts bobbing his head.
P.O.T.:
Somegays stay in the closet, then again some acknowledge the call
Hiscoming out party was a bust...his expression says he had to swallow it all
He’sthe bitch in the relationship, its obvious, don’t read it a riddle
Hejust agreed to a threesome…and GUESS who gets to be in the middle
Leftfootjust got Conned, That’s probably thereason why we see him walking around… with a frown
Causeif you don’t, you get bounced, and Rodman’s known for the rebound
Betterstart your mantra, you about to get spread like the guns on contra
Itssafe to say you about to get swerved on, THAT’S a double entendre
The Crowd starts chanting P.O.T. and Leftfoot looks back in shock
Winner: P.O.T.
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Main Event: Sheamus vs. Team Swagfoot and “The Saviour” Jacob Senn
(Gauntlet Match)
(Thy WWE Unified World Championship)
As our show returns from commercial break, we can see Fat Mamba Jamba, MC Hammer Pants, and Hillbilly Bubba Ray Charles of Team Swagfoot in the ring.
Don Chuckles: Ladies and gentleman, I am being given an update on General Manager Starr from earlier in the evening. Apparently he has been taken to a local hospital to be looked at for what are being described as concussion like symptoms. Stay tuned and as soon as we know more, you will know more as well.
Phil Latio: We’ve got a main event right now Donny boy, and our champion is about to come out.
Julian Chichy: Figurehead champion, remember you two, General Manager Starr still refuses to acknowledge Sheamus as champion of his company.
Don Chuckles: Eh.
Sheamus’s theme song comes on and we see the Unified World Champion of Thy WWE walk out onto the top of the stage to a generally positive reaction from the fans. Even though General Manager Starr refuses to acknowledge Sheamus as the champion due to the controversial draw at Wrestlemania, we still see Sheamus raise the title in the air and howl to the fans as they cheer in approval. Getting down to the ring and rolling inside, we see the referee try and make the three members of Team Swagfoot leave. But Sheamus stops him and says to let them stay in the ring. Shrugging his shoulders we see the referee order the bell to be rung and the first part of this gauntlet match is underway. Right away we see Hillbilly Bubba Ray Charles run at Sheamus, but he gets plowed with a Brogue Kick. MC Hammer Pants then points at Sheamus and begs off for a moment. Hammer Pants grabs his crotch and starts to moonwalk around the ring. Stopping, he looks at Sheamus and wants to see what kind of moves he has. A grin comes across the face of the champion as he looks at the arena fans and starts to shrug his shoulders up and down. Thrusting his head out and popping it back, we see Sheamus look like he is actually having a bit of fun in the ring. But then that all stops in a second as he charges and nearly takes the head of Hammer Pants off with another Brogue Kick. Looking at Fat Mamba Jamba, we see her walk up to Sheamus and ask if he wants some of her famous oats. Sheamus gets a gleam in his eye and says he is famished, after asking Fat Mamba Jamba to go to the outside and make him a big bowl of oats. Once she gets out of the ring, Sheamus asks the referee to start the ten count—1…2…3…4…5…Fat Mamba Jamba is working hard at stirring the oats while the count continues…6…7…8…9…10!
DEFEATED: Fat Mamba Jamba via count-out.
Looking down at MC Hammer Pants and Hillbilly Bubba Ray Charles, we see Sheamus pull the two of them together before dropping down and covering the two of them at the same time—1…2…3!
DEFEATED: Hillbilly Bubba Ray Charles via pin fall.
DEFEATED: MC Hammer Pants via pin fall.
We all know what is next, last week Jacob Senn pushed Sheamus to his absolute limits and was so close to getting the win. Now with the Unified World Title on the line, will we see Sheamus go into the level that has caused him to run unopposed since winning the title back in February of this year. Jacob Senn’s music kicks on and we see him run out onto the top of the stage and down inside the ring. Staring straight into Sheamus’s eyes, we see Senn show no fear as Sheamus slaps his chest twice and throws his arms into the air, letting out a defiant warrior howl. Sensing an opportunity, Senn pounces and kicks Sheamus hard in the stomach before stinging the champion with a pair of hard kicks to the left and right leg before bouncing back off the ropes and getting some momentum as he charges towards the champ. Senn collides hard and stings Sheamus with a clothesline, but the champion does not go down. Senn now kicks Sheamus hard in the ribs, before bouncing back off the ropes and charging into Sheamus once more with another clothesline. The champion now is more wobbly as Senn charges for a third time, and this time succeeds and clotheslines Sheamus down to the ground and goes for an immediate pinfall—1…2…NO! Sheamus pushes Senn off of him and rolls to the outside of the ring to catch his breath and gather his thoughts. Senn is not relenting though as he runs towards Sheamus, flings himself over the top rope and collides with the champ on the floor, dropping him to the mat as the fans show their approval for the high risk move just seen by Jacob Senn.
Don Chuckles: I know Sheamus would never underestimate a challenger, but Senn seems to be fighting this match like it’s his last.
Phil Latio: I gotta admit, this has started off better than I thought I would.
Julian Chichy: It’s not over yet.
Senn picks Sheamus up and rolls him inside of the ring, but as he gets inside he gets clubbed in the back by Sheamus. Sheamus cinches in a front face lock and applies pressure as he follows up with driving some knees into the shoulders of Jacob Senn before pulling him up while still cinching in the lock. Showing some surprising technical skills, we see Sheamus move around and keep his arms cinched, this time around Senn’s midsection. Senn tries to fight out by bucking his hips, but Sheamus is able to muscle Senn up, turning his body to the right and slamming Senn stomach first onto the mat. We can see the wind exit Senn’s sails before turning around and getting the front face lock in once more. Now having his way with Senn on the ground, we see the champion further display his improving ground game as he maneuvers to side control. Hooking a leg and the head of Senn, we see Sheamus leverage him into a pinning predicament. The referee slides down and starts to make the count—1…2…NO! Senn kicks out and we see Sheamus pop back up to his feet and look down at Senn who also gets back up fast. The two of them initiate a tie up in the center of the ring, and now we see Sheamus show his power off as he tosses Senn into the corner and lifts a knee up and jams it into Jacob’s throat. We see Senn gasp for air and smack at the leg of Sheamus for a moment before the champ lets go. Sheamus then grabs Senn and drops him down to the mat with a short arm clothesline before going and hooking another cover—1…2…NO! Jacob Senn kicks out once more and we can see that this match could honestly go either way.
Don Chuckles: Who do you got winning here boys?
Phil Latio: My money is on Sheamus!
Julian Chichy: 100 dollars has Senn on the upset.
Getting back to his feet, we see Sheamus muscle Senn into the corner and start to knee him in the stomach. Senn stings Sheamus though with two quick kicks to the legs and ribs before pulling Sheamus into the corner and lacing the chest of the champion with knife edge chops. The pale albino complexion of the champion causes each sting to turn the skin red as Senn stops all of a sudden and backs out to the center of the ring. Senn waves Sheamus out to the center of the ring and raises his arms up, it looks like Senn wants to trade blows with the champ. Sheamus is quick to oblige as he throws a hard looking left at Senn. But Senn stings Sheamus immediately with a right, and we see both of them landing hard shots with neither man really having much of an advantage over the other, until Senn sneaks a headbutt in and connects with a beautiful standing dropkick that doesn’t take Sheamus off of his feet. Cursing loudly and shaking his head, we see Senn flip and catch Sheamus on the chin with a spinning heel kick that this time gets the champion down. Instinctively we see Sheamus immediately try and get back up, but Senn bounces off the ropes and hits a big boot then drops the champion back down to the mat once again. No selling this time, we see Sheamus again channel his warrior spirit as he pushes himself up and gets almost to his feet, but Senn shows his impressive athleticism by dropping and flipping back, catching Sheamus on the side of the head with a Pele Kick that takes him down to the mat yet again. Going for another pinfall, we see the official make the count—1…2…NO! Sheamus kicks out and Senn stands up cursing loudly yet again.
Don Chuckles: Sheamus is showing his toughness here guys.
Julian Chichy: I’m gonna be pissed if I lose my hundred bucks.
Senn looks more focused now than ever as he looks down and awaits Sheamus to rise, when the champion gets back to his feet Senn stings him with a right hand. But despite getting rocked, Sheamus quickly fires back with a left hand of his own. In the center of the ring, we now see Sheamus and Senn thump each other with hard lefts and rights, going blow for blow until Senn blocks a Sheamus left, kneeing the champion in the stomach before grabbing him by the head and dropping him into the mat with a DDT. Senn’s momentum seems to be firing on all cylinders and the champion appears to be in trouble as Sheamus bounces off the mat and is staring up at the ceiling as Senn gets back to his feet and bounces off the ropes. Coming back towards the champ, Senn jumps up and connects with a high elevation leg drop onto the chest and throat of Sheamus before grabbing his legs and going for another cover. The referee slides into position and starts to administer the count—1…2…NO! The champ kicks out, and it is still apparent that Sheamus has a lot left in his tank.
Phil Latio: What a match here, Sheamus is finally be made to look human.
Thoroughly in control, we now see Senn pull the champ to his feet and once again knee him in the midsection. Senn takes the arm of Sheamus and puts it over his head, before hitting him with a vertical suplex. Keeping the arm of Sheamus hooked, we see Senn tease another vertical suplex, but then he throws the arms of the champion up, wriggles behind Sheamus and drives the champion backwards onto the mat with a German Suplex. Senn has his arms still firmly clenched around the waist of the champion as he pulls him back up and drives him back onto the mat with another German Suplex. The fans shout out “Two”, and we can see Senn get a grin on his face as he is able to muscle Sheamus up once more. Trying for a third German Suplex, we see Senn struggle for a moment. Heaving back, but not succeeding, we see Senn try it once more; Sheamus is lifed slightly off of his feet, but is able to root his feet down onto the mat. Senn then headbutts the back of Sheamus’s head and uses one last surge of adrenaline to lift Sheamus backwards and slam him into the mat with yet another German Suplex, what a match this has turned out to be! The fans in the arena yell out “Three” as Senn lies on the mat breathing heavily for a few moments. Tapping into adrenaline we see Senn roll over and get an arm over Sheamus—1…2…NO! The champ once again lifts a shoulder off of the mat! What a match!
Don Chuckles: I really think Senn can do it! The fans are fully behind him! This is your moment Senn, you can do it kid!
Phil Latio: Who woulda thought…
Senn has to use the ropes to pull himself back up, but we can see a smile on the face of the challenger. The match isn’t over yet, but for the first time in a long time, the champion is in real trouble here. Senn then looks down and shakes his head in a nod of yes as he grabs Sheamus and lifts him back to his feet. Trying to continue his domination, we see Senn leap up and go for a dropkick, but Sheamus smacks his legs away and moves as Senn falls to the mat. Senn immediately springs back up and charges towards Sheamus, it looked almost as if he was going for another spinning heel kick, but Sheamus is able to partially counter it and he turns and has Senn in a modified front face lock. Moving further up, we see Sheamus have a gut wrench on Senn. Moving slightly out of the gut wrench we see Sheamus get Senn into regular power bomb position and lift his challenger up, we see Sheamus drill Senn into the mat with a power bomb. Staggering into the corner, we see Sheamus throw his arms into the air and slap his chest. It looks like the champion is going for the end here as Senn gets to his feet and Sheamus charges, he lifts his leg and goes for a Brogue Kick, but Senn is able to duck the kick and sting Sheamus out of nowhere with The Judgment! Sheamus’s eyes glaze over as he falls backwards onto the mat, realizing this may be the only chance he has, Senn drops down and covers Sheamus! The fans are sensing the end and counting along with the referee—1…2…NO! Sheamus lifts a shoulder up once more and Senn’s eyes bulge in shock as he stands up, visibly asking what he is going to need to do to get the win over the champion.
Julian Chichy: Yeah baby! Take my hundred bucks and go to Vegas! Uhhhhhh.
Senn calls for the finisher once more and as Sheamus gets up, he throws the leg and goes for The Judgment once more. But this time Sheamus smacks the leg away and stings Senn on the jaw with the Brogue Kick. Senn falls to the ground and instead of going for the fall, we see Sheamus look at the turnbuckle and get a gleam in his eye. Dragging Senn towards the turnbuckle, we see Sheamus step onto the middle turnbuckle and muscle Senn into position. Don’t tell me that Sheamus is going to be trying what I think he is trying! Trying to lift Senn up, we see Sheamus struggle at first, but then let out a warriors howl as he finds the strength to muscle Senn up and into position. Sheamus then screams a second time and flings Senn from the middle rope and across the ring, connecting with what may be the roughest looking High Cross I have ever seen. Senn’s body lands neck first on the mat and his legs contort and fold over as Senn lies shuddering in pain on the mat. The fans in the arena are screaming “Holy Shit” as Sheamus walks slowly over to Senn, kicks him onto his back fully and drops down for the cover—1…2…3! Mercifully this war is over!
DEFEATED: “The Saviour” Jacob Senn via pin fall.
Winner: Sheamus
Don Chuckles: With a performance like this fellas, General Manager Starr may have to reconsider not recognizing Sheamus as the champion.
In the ring, as the show’s credits come across the screen, we see Sheamus howl and raise the title in the air. Looking down at Senn, we see Sheamus nod as he helps Senn to his feet. Despite coming so close to getting the big moment, we see Senn look visibly dejected. Sheamus, in a true showing of class and sportsmanship nods in approval to Senn and offers him a handshake. We see Senn pause for a moment, wince in pain, but slowly take the handshake. Sheamus then raises the arm of Senn in the air, to applaud him for his valiant effort. Senn exits the ring and walks up the ramp as the fans are clapping the war that both men just fought in the ring. Our show then ends on that note…
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SHOW ENDS
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